When it Rains, it Pours!

Bad things happen to me in threes! Then one good thing will happen and then THREE more bad things follow.....PROOF:

1. My credit card got entered into an Internet Scam and now the CC company thinks I owe them $70.00 which is collecting interest and I have to take time out of my life to write a letter and gather evidence to get rid of the charges.

2. I spilled a cup of water on my alarm clock and it stopped working. I love it because it was an ipod dock with dual alarm features too...

3. I put a rental truck on my Credit Card for work and we ended up not needing it!

Good thing: When I took my alarm clock in for warranty repairs, they had a black one just sitting there and said I could just take it!

1. When I got the alarm clock back to the house and set it up...it isn't exactly the same radio....it doesn't work with my ipod and the face plates aren't the same colours as my last one :(

2. My car started making a grinding noise so I took it to Can Tire for service and it turns out I needed all new brakes all around, new routers, new callipers......$600.00 later....

3. I had the worst day ever at work....no details needed! Stu is unemployed and we are having money trouble during Christmas.....while having for fork out cash for my stupid shitbox of a car...

Good thing: Stu liked his coat I got him for his birthday and I was so worried he wouldn't like it. I also feel I had a successful Christmas shopping season...good gifts all around...

1. At Stuart's B-day party I had a bad bout of drinking and became drama girl & I broke my glasses- nough said. Ok....well, worst hang over of my life too...lol

2. Nothing fits me right now....everyone wants to wear pretty Christmas outfits this time of year but it is hard when you are stretching your wardrobe....literally.

3. Still waiting on the third. I will keep you posted......
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Ok and the chronicles continue.....Number 3..... A BIIIGGG number THREE is that my car broke down. My year of car has a glitch in the passlock system where the fuel injection is disabled because it thinks it is being stollen. So my ignition cyllinder needs replacing.

Good thing: I got my christmas bonus! Yay!!!!

Readers Digest.....or Digested by Readers.

I ate my advent Calandar. The whole thing. I couldn't help it...

Every year I wish I had started my Christmas shopping earlier…I think if I could just dedicate some time to clicking around on E-bay I could get everyone what they wanted and have it shipped right to my door step. As it is, you have to leave yourself at least two months to allow for shipping and complications. This year I am only just starting to shop now, in mid December, just like last year and the year before. This is when prices are highest and stock and choices are lowest. So despite the shipping dilemma, I still did the majority of my purchases online. They are local stores with a 2-3 day shipping promise, so my fingers are crossed. I mean, who has time to honestly navigate through the crowds and parking lots when they have jobs and gym requirements and social obligations.

So I have been reading a lot of books in the past 6 months. I found a way to integrate reading into my workouts. I have figured out how to read and jog at the same time without tripping over my feet. Here is the list of some of the books I have read post Twilight Saga in the past 6 months (in no real order):

Sophie Kinsella- Remember me?
Patrick Ness- The knife of Never Letting Go
PC Cast- House of Night (series)> Marked, Betrayed, Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted…(to be continued)
Charlaine Harris- Sookie Stackhouse (series)> Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, Club Dead, Dead to the World, Dead as a Doornail, Definitely Dead, All Together Dead, From Dead to Worse, Dead and Gone, A Touch of Dead (…to be continued)
Cassandra Clare-The Mortal Instruments Trilogy>City of Ashes, City of Glass, City of Bones
Libba Bray- Gemma Doyle Trilogy>A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, The Sweet Far Thing
Scott Sigler- Infected, Contagious
Richelle Mead- Vampire Academy (series)> Vampire Academy, Frostbite, Shadow kiss, Blood Promise…(to be continued)
Kathy Reiches- Devil Bones
Richard Matheson- I am Legend
Jodi Picoult- My Sister’s Keeper
L J Smith- Dark Visions
Joy Fielding- Heartstopper
Sherilyn Kenyon- Acheron
Cormac McCarthy- The Road

That is 37 books and I know for a fact that I missed a bunch, because I either lent them out and can’t remember their names to ask for them back (ie. they are never to be seen again), or I left them at the gym or managed to ruin them while reading in the bath. Yes I do that. With wet fingers. I am a book ruiner. My books always look like they have weathered a damn storm. In fact it annoys me when people keeps their books looking so pristine…with stiff spines and crispy pages. Books should be loved and abused. Stuffed into knapsacks and left open on the nightstand to the page you left off on. So I am averaging a little over 6-7 books a month (if I count the ones I can’t remember). Which is a little less then 2 books a week. That sounds about right. I don’t exactly relish the fact that I read at super-speed. It costs me a lot of money and gives me a short attention span. It means I finish a book and then right away I need something different to read and consume. It is sort of like a fire…it spreads and consumes every book in my line of vision.

Anyway, I thought since I am so well read, I might as well review a couple of them. Then I decided I don’t have the patience for that…so I will drop a couple lines, but nothing worth publishing. I like reading what is classified as ‘teen fiction’ because the characters are easy to understand and rarely deal with the politics of adult fiction. Just the fun stuff, like drama, flirting, polygamy, danger and other teenage anx.

So if you liked twilight, then I’d recommend the House of Night Series- which consequentially was ripped off by Rachelle Mead’s Vampire Academy. They both essentially are about a vampire finishing school. There are good and bad vampires…the similarities between these books are remarkable. In fact, I don’t know how there isn’t a lawsuit somewhere between these two Authors. The bad guys are both dead ‘red’ vampires. The young good vampires control and harness the power of the elements. The main female vampire in both series controls ‘spirit’; a rare and powerful element. They both have a friend that is intuitive to them. One sees visions, one feels emotions. They both play the Field and have more then one boyfriend. The bottom line is, they are both good, but the storyline copying will DEFINITELY frustrate you.

Ok, now to get away from the childish junkfood reading. I recently read Cormac McCarthy's book- The Road, which has also been made into a Movie that just came out. So lucky for you, I will give you a quick review of both. The book was a dark enthralling read. It was like seeing a storyline in a poem. It is essentially the journey of a father and son in a post apocalyptic world. You never learn the source of the Apocalypse or the names of the father and son. But you learn them through their experiences, their reactions to danger and the struggle that ensues to find food and safe shelter. Needless to say, i found myself weeping while riding the bike in the gym. I finished the book in 1.5 days and it seems people has watched me because the moment I closed the book, the white haired lady beside me on the bike says "sooooo......what did you think?"
I was in such shock, still wiping the tears away I said "huh?...sorry, what?" and then she proceeded to tell me she had just finished the book and had the same reaction I was obviously having. "I wanted to see the movie" she said, "but i figured I couldn't eat popcorn or drink a big fat coke because I would be riddled with guilt..."

It's true. After reading it, I was suspicious of every person that passed me in the street and was able to appreciate the clothes on my back and the warm bed I got to climb into every night. At least for a week....

Thinking maybe I will take a break on the book reading for a while. Maybe watch more movies. I really want to see Avatar. Opens Friday......anyone wanna see it with me?
Ok, all for now, loyal blog readers.....

SEX and CANDY- Clean it up with Magic Eraser!

So the everything to do with Sex show at the exhibition place was interesting. Apart from the naked women walking around in ropes and nipple tassels and the women that were nude but painted to look like they were wearing clothes, it was fairly tame.

We walked around between the many isles of naughty clothing and movies and toys. We got a cupcake from a massage booth and bought a Christmas ornament to support women's cancers. (Speaking of which, my sympathies to my dear friend who just lost her mother to such a cancer). We watched some amature (fully clothed) pole dancing and then listened to girls imitate the best orgasmic experience they could. We picked up lots of reading material....not exactly coffee table top worthy, but interesting for sure! There are whole magazines out there with personal ads. Couples looking to swing, men looking to watch, women looking to join. I mean what happened to good old fashioned...sex. When did it get so complicated?

I mean, I am fairly liberal- but even I felt compelled to blush. Have you ever been on Craigslist or Kijiji and glance over the 'personals'? I mean a magazine is one thing, but you can actually post a 'looking for' ad for ....relations. On kijiji. It seems a little desperate to me. Aren't there other venues for that? I mean you can seach for a crib and toys in the same place you can look for a fellow cross dresser. Don't they say that you should never shop in a place where you can buy a wrench and a watermelon in one stop? Anyway- this is a family blog, so enough of that. And by family- I mean, I have my mother on facebook and I think she reads it. Ha ha.

So I have this theory that the magic eraser will whiten teeth. My parents recently came over to see my apartment for the first time and I managed to remove (god knows how many) years of stain off of the old white linoleum counter. I am talking burn marks, coffee stains, wine spills...you name it. All gone....back to perfectly white. This wasn't the expensive Mr. Clean brand either! It was the KNOCK OFF! When I get home tonight I am going to dampen it and then go to town on the pearly whites and see what comes off on this magic sponge...

Congratulations are due for my sister who finally said 'YES' to the Dress. I think dress shopping is a lot like playing the field or dating around. You see what is out there, you try a few things out. Spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of this one and that one, but when you find one that works- you have to STOP LOOKING!!! There is always going to be a better looking dress. One that fits you better. One that makes you feel better about yourself, but like your love life, you have to know when you are done shopping around and commit to it or you will drive yourself crazy.

The Cure for Road Rage

Thought of the Day-

Air fresheners have really come a long way. I mean, do you remember the days of bathroom air fresheners when they were loud and obnoxious…or just plain noxious. Where instead of eliminating an odour they would just mix with it to create some new perfume, repugnant to the nose. I swear, I can take my late morning….cr*cough* and then spray the new fabrese air effects afterwards and it is completely silent. No “SHHHHHPPPPSSSHHHHH” sound to give the bowel movement away and no harsh after-smell that tells everyone where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. And most importantly, when your boss walks into the bathroom immediately after you, there is no worry about whether or not he’ll know.

Yesterday was the first snow of winter ’09 and I didn’t welcome it wistfully. It froze my windshield wipers to my windshield and made any black water on the road look ominous. Really, not a fan.

Stuart however is a whole other animal. All he can think and talk about is Christmas and skiing. He loves Christmas. I expect to walk through the door one day (and I am talking November here) and our apartment will be a winter wonderland, complete with Christmas tree(s), tacky Santas, Christmas lights on every surface and wreaths and holly everywhere. Not to mention the overplayed jingles playing in every room.

I will do what I can to reign him in and at least keep it tasteful. No plastic Santas on the door and no stuffed reindeer. As for the Christmas tree- an expense that is NOT in the budget- I need to limit it to between 4-5 feet. If Stuart had his way it would be curved along the ceiling with every branch encumbered with a sparkly bobble.

I have figured out the cure for road rage. Believe it or not, it is as simple as a wave. I have found (being involved in crazy Toronto Traffic for over 6 months now) that being cut off and butted in front of by vehicles (mostly BMW’s but that is a whole other rant), that when I am entirely enraged and want to get even, all of these negative emotions are negated by a simple hand wave to the rear view mirror. It’s true, when someone merges into your lane and purposely speeds up just to get in front of you and your first instinct is to honk, you are immediately quieted by a simple black outline of a raised hand. I have adopted this technique and I find I get honked at less and am let into a lane more often simply by waving my thanks and my acknowledgement of the fact that I am being a dick.

After all this time, I am surprised by how many drivers do NOT do this. Seriously! If you have to cut me off, at least acknowledge to me that you did it, so I don’t plan your demise for the next 100 meters.

What has tread marks and two black eyes....

I don’t like coffee. I will drink the odd one from Tim Horton’s, but if I had a choice, I would rather drink tea. The benefit? I have whiter teeth then your average shmo. Actually, since working the standard nine to five, I am beginning to feel the craving for the familiar warmth you get by having a warm drink in your hand while plugging away at your office duties. But I don’t like coffee….and truth be known, tea can stain your teeth even more then your favourite brew. My solution? Drink hot water. That’s it. Just hot water out of the coffee maker. If you have lemon, go for it- add a squeeze. But it seems everything is bad for us now- too much or consistent lemon wears all the enamel off your teeth. So for now- hot water it is. It has been proven to help your body burn more calories. It may not be pleasant to drink- but it seems to sate the need for absent minded sipping to get us through the early mornings at the office.

I remember early in the summer during the garbage strike I commented on all the road kill that was plaguing our main roadways. Since then, I have had a shock to the system and feel differently about our squashed forest friends. I was in the car with Stuart (he was driving- thank GOD) and we were on a quiet side street on our way home from dinner and WHAMMO! A huge-dog sized- raccoon waddled across the road almost directly in front of my tires. Since it is a residential area, we were only going about 40km an hour- hardly fast enough to splatter a raccoon. Instead we went over it like we might go over a speed bump. Tortuously slow and agonizingly drawn out. I remember holding my breath and looking in the rear view mirror.

Maybe we didn’t hit him? Maybe there actually was a speed bump? But no. My worst fears were confirmed when I saw him trying to pull himself to the curb with his front paws. I immediately burst into hysterical tears. Shaking sobs, practically hyperventilating. We both sat frozen watching him struggle, knowing we hadn’t hit him hard enough to kill him, but that we had been going slow enough to mortally wound him with the weight of the vehicle. I have never seen an animal hit by a car and I have never (myself) ran over one. To say that I was distressed is an understatement. I believe I almost fainted when Stuart said “we have to run over him again”. “WHAT????” I screamed. The poor creature had been through enough and even if we DID hit him again (fast enough to supposedly finish the job, but slow enough to not damage my car considering he was the size of a moose) there would be no guarantee it would kill him this time.

Besides, I couldn’t bring myself to. I always thought that if I was in the situation where I needed to humanely dispose of a wounded animal- I would have the courage. By knife, ax or blunt object or by running it over again. Turns out it is a whole different story when it is actually happening.

So we drove away. We watched a movie with friends and I tried not to think about it. After everyone left, I couldn't wait anymore. I convinced Stuart to drive back to the gruesome scene to see if someone braver had put him out of his misery or if some other unfortunate car had hit him again. When we got there, he was lying almost on the sidewalk. He could have been asleep, he looked perfectly undamaged on the outside. But we knew he had died. I can't stop thinking about how long it might have taken for him to die. How much pain he must have felt and how long it had been drawn out. (I know, it is depressing to think about). I could kick myself for leaving him there without...doing something. It was 10 o clock at night. There was no way animal control would have come to help a raccoon. They are a dime a dozen....

My sister says I have too much of a soft spot to humanize a raccoon like that. They called them vermin. Said I did the city a favour by ridding it of one of the bigger ones. That it is a bigger version of a rat and people hit and kill them every day. They get into garbage and kill peoples pets and are diseased. Then how come I am dwelling on this so much?! Humans are diseased and annoying, and get into garbage....we can't get away with a hit and run with them!

When I was a little kid, my dad caught a mouse at the cottage that had eaten mouse poison and was slow and dopey and almost tame because of it. I had watched him for hours, but eventually my dad had said it was cruel to let him die slowly from the poison and he drowned him in a bucket of water. I cried for hours and laid on my bunk bed and wouldn't talk to anyone. I even drew a little mouse in crayons on the wall (it was a log- so not a big deal) and beside it I wrote 'Goodbye my friend'. It is still there, nearly 14 years later and friends and boyfriends always tease me about it.

Gobble Gobble it up!

I have come to the conclusion that my apartment is too small to house 6 people for a weekend. This weekend Stuarts old friends from highschool and from London came and stayed with us and we had a blast, but the limited mobility around the 2 inflated air mattresses and various luggage, made it hard to eat and ....do anything really. The result? broken chairs, beer everywhere (rug and couch) and filthy everything.

It's that time again- The Markham Fair! I can't believe I have had a blog for over a year now. And I am actually sticking with it! I love fairs, but it is so easy to drop $100.00 bucks without even blinking an eye. I won my sister the stuffed black lab puppy she had been eyeing (despite our men's best efforts) and Stuart managed to win me the purple monster I had been pining after. He won it by squirting his gun in the hole and winning the race. Get you minds out of the gutter!

The funny thing about the things you win at the fair is that at the time you want them so badly, but when you get them home, you can only think of how to get it out of the public eye. What box can this go in? Now I have a purple monster sitting on my book shelf. Not exactly a designers dream.

Speaking of designers. This weekend my friend Kelsey and I did the Colin & Justins Home Heist tour through Toronto and Etobiko. We saw about 11 completely fabulously designed houses and got to meet Colin and Justin- who are equally fabulous and total Divas. They signed our books (you get them if you do the tour and the proceeds go to the Cancer Society.

I am going to attempt to cook a turkey in light of Thanksgiving. That's right. I have been assured it is not difficult if you take the simple route ie. (boxed stuffing, canned cranberries and gravy). So if I don't come home with many leftovers, I will rouse the Martha Stewart that is dormant inside me, and COOK!
The bathroom is the warmest place in my office. Maybe it is the way the ventilation system is set up, but I swear when I am sitting at my desk, I am freezing but the second I take a pee break I am toasty warm. I wonder if my coworkers would get suspicious if I started bringing paper work into the bathroom.

With the Canadian dollar so high, I suggest everyone start buying more on Ebay. This is good advice.

That is all the random stuff I can think to write. Bye for now,...

Double Cohort THIS mutha F*#%er!

The question being posed a lot lately is whether students are prepared for university, coming out of high school. There has been a lot of opinionated junk filling the airways about it. I say- can you ever really be prepared?I mean, how prepared could my generation have been?

We were the first year of the double cohort. We were the guinea pigs. We were the trial run for new lesson plans and introductory courses. We had teachers that weren't sure how to teach these new concepts to us, so they kept it simple. Our 4-5 years (depending on our choice) of high school were a joke compared to what they are now. Teachers have had time to perfect the 4 year learning curve and better prepare students for more in less time. Does that mean we were expected to fail out of college and university? Cuz, no offense, I did fine. So did many of my peers. The success of person is built into their moral fibre. Their drive to succeed. Not their 'well learned skills' in high school. Ya right. I can barely remember the periodic table of elements and I knew the entire thing in high school- in a song! That I wrote! Ha!

If we are talking skills here, the most important thing I learned in high school is how to get by. It isn't HOW you deal with stress- just that you DO deal with it. Whether it is bullshitting your way out of it, rushing to complete last minute projects, or finding the all mighty doctors note- all of those skills can be applied in University. Screw organization, and time management and deadline dealing- how many University student do you know that can TRULY time manage? It is about last minute studying before exams, finding last weeks notes in a pile of food coupons, doodles and love letters, re-using old notebooks- writing on the backs of pages this time to avoid spending the five dollars for a new notebook. It is about going to class but having the good sense to know when skipping it won't hurt you too badly (except for a few scan tron questions on the next exam) or being aware that if there are presentations going on, no one will miss you and you won't miss anything.

It is about having the go ahead to get the Prof to remember your face and name,( studies have shown it substantially increases your GPA. Even when your papers don't warrant it). AND lastly, the most important thing to know to be prepared for University is that a nap between classes can save you soul and bring you to your night classes and greasy food can take the edge off a hangover.

Cheers, loyal blog readers! (Excerpt taken from toga parties and Jello shooters 101)

The Hazards of Driving...

I find myself sitting in traffic. I am sitting there for what seems like my entire life. I am spending so much time in stop and go traffic and the worst thing about it is that when you are driving you can’t multi-task to keep yourself interested. I mean, you could, but it is illegal. No putting on makeup, no munching on snacks, no fiddling with cell phones or painting your nails. It could all result in one big fat ticket.

Is it just me, or is traffic getting woooorsssee? When I first moved into my new place, (mind you it was the middle of June) my route to work would take 15-20 minutes and the route home would take 20-30 minutes. I take the 401 to the 404 and then proceed to HWY 7 in Markham. Maybe it is all the student drivers that are now back on the road since school started, or maybe the cold weather is making people drive slower, and angrier, causing more accidents. Now I feel like it takes nearly 40 minutes to an hour to go ANYWHERE.

You would think, the same people are driving the same route twice a day. So why all the accidents? All the collisions? All the turnovers? Are you not familiar with the risks of HWY driving by now? Are you not prepared for all the idiot drivers we see being honked at every day? COME ON PEOPLE! Get it together! Stop flipping your BMW’s and side swiping your Escalades and T-boning your T-Birds (ok I had to put that one in).

I’ve started being a rebel and calling people when I am stopped on the 404. Yep. I am risking it to keep myself sane. I certainly don’t have ADD, but can you imagine if I DID? OMG. I would be throwing gum at cars rolling by and making eyes at ugly old men to get a reaction. I would strike up conversation with cars with their windows down….ok I have done that….but only once or twice. As it is now, I twiddle my thumbs and sing along with the radio. But anyone who knows me well, knows I don’t have a head for lyrics and almost NEVER sing the right words. And it pisses me off when I am in a 2 line streak and screw up the last couple of words “there’s a she-wolf in your closet, open up the closet…so she…can…run”…..”dammit!” So I end up getting home angry and Stuart feels the wrath.

I have also attempted to read my book while sitting in traffic. I know, I know. But it goes like this- I am stopped. I read a line. Look up. Roll a foot. Stop. Read a line. Look up…..etc.

On an amazing note- Did you hear the one about that woman in the department store that was fed up with someone else's misbehaving child and took the liberty of spanking the child? She is being charged with assault. We have ALL been there where we wanted to intervene with the kid that is running warp speed down the isles or the screaming kid in the restaurant, or the one kicking your chair. We've all wanted to knock their block off. I applaud the woman who finally had the nerve to do it. Just last night, Stuart and I were sitting in Wimpy's and there were these two almost toddlers (about 4?) that were running up and down the restaurant and crawling all over the bar stools. They were screaming and getting filthy and I thought- If I did that when I was a kid, my mother would have fed me a line about staying on my butt or I would be "outa this restaurant so fast your head'll spin!" But I guess this generation is different.

Drowning in Taffeta & Lace Vomit

So Kanye has proved once more, how much of a classy guy he is by stealing Taylor Swift’s thunder and humiliating her internationally at the VMA’s. Like seriously Kanye….if Beyonce’s video was soooo good as you said, don’t you think the VMA’s would acknowledge her somewhere else? LIKE THEY DID- when they gave her video of the YEAR!

On a funnier note, isn’t it awesome that Lady Gaga was denied the priviledge of bringing a lion onto the red carpet with her? Ha ha. And then her speech gave a shout-out to the ‘Gays’. Gotta love those inclusive speeches.

Foosball is a friggen workout. My sister bought a competition grade foosball table and we played doubles matches all Sunday afternoon. No one can beat Steve. I mean, it was like trying to play hockey as a rookie against an NHL-er. Stu and I played him 2 against 1 and STILL got clobbered. I will have to improve my skills. They are valuable skills: to be able to rotate and flick your wrist-really fast!

Wedding planning is stressful. And it isn’t even my wedding. This past weekend, Jordana and I went to the wedding expo. It was $15 bucks to get in and walk around having salespeople try their damndest to sell you THEIR wedding cakes or THEIR invitation schemes. The only thing you end up getting as a freebie are coupons and wedding planners and stupid bags to hold are the useless pamphlets and paper they give you. The funnest part of the whole day was getting to see the wedding fashion show. FYI…models are not build to wear wedding gowns. Not only did it look like the weight of the ball gowns was going to drag them to the floor at any minute, but NONE of them filled out the top of these gowns. I don’t think you could even alter them enough that they wouldn’t gap and gape in odd places on these VERY thin and tall women.

On another note, on an up-close and personal basis, wedding dresses are sooo gross. They feel artificial and cheap and like polyester. Like glorified, blown up Barbie dresses. They are too thick and gaudy and impossible to admire hanging on a wire hangar along with other bulk, mass produced gowns in ever shade from dirty white to faded yellow. I am so glad I don’t have to swim through that ocean of taffeta and silk. There are just too many options….beaded bodice, mermaid, ball gown, train, strapless, cap sleeves, streamlined, A-line……barf.

I have been spending my free time parading around the most hilarious website in the world, stealing amusing shots of cats & dogs involved in hilarious antics. It’s sad I know. What started as a few funnies, is now an entire album of over 60 photos depicting my failure at having a social life. At least they give me the giggles.

Toilets that FLUSH!!!!

Thought of the day-

If 'Shorts' are only called shorts because they are an abbreviation for 'short pants' then how come if you were to say to someone- "hey nice short pants!" - they would look at you like you were crazy. Or if you asked someone what 'short pants' looked like- they would most likely think Capri's or puddle jumpers (you know those pants....that are too Small......or short....for jumping in puddles? Cuz adults do that). So then maybe 'shorts' are like their own thing. Not 'short pants'. Just like a T-shirt is it's own thing. Not just a shirt shaped like a T. Because then that gives you the idea that the ideal form of a shirt is one with long sleeves. Like it is the base form. Or that pants must have long legs to be 'pants'. On another note- why don't freezers have a light too? I mean if I were the type to wake up in the night for a snack...I would go for ice cream for sure! But who wants to fumble around in the freezer in the dark, grasping for containers?

So today is my birthday. Is it just me or do birthdays sort of mimic valentines day? You go into it with high expectations and always end up disappointed. There won't be a room full of people and balloons when you get home from work. There likely won't be a cake waiting on the table for you and the gifts you get (even if they are amazing) will always leave something to be desired.

I am 24 years old. Ever since I turned 12 I have been telling everyone I was one year older then I am. My logic was that when you turn 12 you are in your 13th year of life- so you can say you are at 13....not 12- because when we are born, we start at 0, not 1. So we are technically a year older then we think we are. Anyway, that aside- this is the first year where I am not pushing the envelope. I am 24. That's it. Not 25 this year. This is like the golden year (with a side of oxidization) where you no longer feel like a kid. I didn't even know that I had crossed that invisible line. But the more people I ask, it seems it is common knowledge that up until 23 you can still be considered a youth. A kid, fresh out of university with their whole life before them....but NOT 24. I am laughing because it sounds ridiculous, but seriously. This is the year of mortgages and marriages and finances and financing. It is at 24 when women start really planning their future and looking at the possibility of children. You are in your mid 20's for god sake. You will be until you are 26. Up until 23 you were still in your early 20's.

My birthday is also bitter sweet for another reason. It marks the end of the summer. There is only ever 1 more weekend until I would have to go back to school, or start new classes, start digging out the fall sweaters. I am hoping that since the summer was so wet and cool, that this September and October will stay warm to make up for it. Before we know it, thanksgiving will be here and we will be crunching our way through leaf-littered side walks. I have got to get what fishing I can in before the season ends. I have already beat my record this summer at the cottage by catching a muskie. It was HUGE. Or so I say. Stu might say otherwise because he is jealous.

My family also only has so long until the brand new Jetski my parents bought a week ago (much to my grandmother's dismay), has to be put away for the season. * GASP* what next? Plumbing? SEPTIC?

I think it's time for an update. Cottages everywhere now have mobile Internet- cell phone service, running water. I remember the days of using a bag phone to order Chinese from the cottage- less then 10km up the road. We STILL have outhouses. We only just got the idea to spray the cabins for bugs to get rid of the mites... I understand the nostalgia of having old cabins that have been in your family for years- I do! But updating finishes and furniture and amenities doesn't take away from the old time quality of the place. It makes it more useable. User-friendly!

My Granny obviously is well into her 80's and won't let the 'magic of horseshoe' be touched or tainted until she is long gone (which nobody wants), but I tell you want I do want- water that I don't have to pump out of the faucet. Bunk beds that you don't fear will crush you in the middle of the night. Toilets you don't fear something will bite your ass where you sit. Only time and....financing (there's that word again) will tell. Until next time....

Something worth Dreaming About

It always baffled me when I would ask people what they dream about at night and they would tell me “I don’t remember” or “I don’t really dream” or “I don’t know”. When I go to sleep, my brain always takes a long time to shut down and so I would occupy myself by creating stories and characters and playing movies for myself.

Sometimes as I fall asleep they will turn into real dreams and the characters will start making and creating and changing their own storylines. That is when I enjoy them the most. It’s like day dreaming at night with your eyes closed. I make a character- a beautiful blonde dancer who gets kidnapped and I follow her storyline until I either fall asleep and my brain either turns to something else (normally crazy zombie dreams/apocalypse) or the blonde dancer wreaks a terrible revenge all of her own.


The human brain is an amazing thing.I thought everyone did this. I wouldn’t know how to go to sleep otherwise. Someone once told me I had the brain and imagination of a writer or screenwriter. No one is saying they would be good movies/books, but I might definitely give it a shot.

My favourite character I ever dreamed up was a woman-like creature born of a demon and a sprite. She has retractable claws and a long lion’s tail. Ebony hair down to mid thigh and regenerating wings that span at least 10 feet on either side. She has cat-like green eyes and a single small dot for a pupil that expands when she is angry. She exists in the time of the nomads and would hunt out side of their small mobile villages. Killing their livestock and the hunters that would try to catch her. I have been imagining her adventures for years.

Recently there has been a new target demographic for books called ‘teen fiction’. The twilight series is part of it….as well as many of the other great writers of our time. It is so frustrating because it is such a narrowing category. Imagine you (being in your 20’s or 30’s) go to chapters and see a book that looks interesting- science fiction or fantasy or romance- but it is in the teen fiction section, would you pass it by? I would. It is embarrassing to loiter around a section intended for the 13-18 age group. You get the strange looks from adults AND teens in the immediate vicinity. It SUCKS. And I know that if I were to write, many of my books (as if they would ever get published), would be in the ‘teen fiction’ section.

I’ve known lots of amazing minds that would make excellent writers. One of them, my friend Dan from highschool. He even looked like a writer….tall and lanky with glasses and a thick mop of curly dark hair. Very intense. I should facebook him and ask him if he’s been published yet. It is SO hard getting published. This weekend over a couple of drinks and under the intense glow of the sun, I was discussing with friends how to go about doing it. Before even thinking about a book, you need to get some articles and small pieces in magazines- even your alumni paper- where I have already been published, but didn’t take the necessary steps to save it to add to my port folio…and you need to have 4-5 of those under your belt before you can even THINK of getting a chance with the big publishing firms.

Some of the best writers I read- Sherrilynn Kenyon- she was rejected something like 100 times before her book was finally put out there. And when you really think about it- all the hundreds of millions of books in a store…some of them will never be picked up or even acknowledged and it is heart breaking to think of all the talented writers out there that will never have their day in the sun.

I still have some kinks I would need to work out before writing a full book. I will start with a short story. I still have weird issues with ‘tense’and 'point of view'…is the narrator first person, second or some all knowing being? Is the story being told in present tense- where you discover the story as it happens or is it being told by the person who already experienced it and is telling it from the future….there are so many options I tend to flip amongst them as I write ha ha. Bad news bears.


Things I hate about driving/drivers:

I hate slow drivers that are holding up an entire line of traffic and can’t even have the courtesy to change lanes, pull over or speed up, once they look in the rear-view mirror.

I hate when drivers are so pushy that they use the merging lane (that ends) to get ahead of traffic- when they AREN’T MERGING.

I hate when drivers don’t check their blind spot and begin to swerve into you.

I HATE when you need to get into a lane and no one will let you in and they KNOW they are being assholes and they won’t look at you or acknowledge you because of it. (Perfect example- I was coming home on the 404 and needed to get into the right lane going to the 401 WEST and I was in the 401 EAST lane and had my signal on for like 4 minutes and every time I tried to move into a gap- the other cars would speed up. GAH!)

Smile! You have a ZIT!

So my car Doesn't sound like a Ferrari anymore. It is a pity for two reasons. One, people don't ask is I have an after market engine anymore. Two, I had to pay for it. Yup. $500 dollars later, I have replaced all the wheel bearings on my left side....Does that mean I only make hard left-hand turns, but my right ones are alright? Excuse my illustration, the little 'lighting bolts' are meant to show how noisy my car was....

I am going to be on a VERY tight budget for the next month or two, because of it. I can't even get a haircut. I had a small emergency fund for this very reason and lets just say that fund is now gone and then some.

Having your own house is stressful. Clothes, dust and dishes all pile up. And once you have your place the way you want it, there is nowhere for it to go from there, but down.Nevermind the fact that you can't play fight anymore. I got pushed into my expensive tree and knocked off an expensive branch bigger then my arm and head combined.

The cottage was fun this weekend. Weather sucked.....it is to be expected I guess. Last summer every weekend it rained too. I have a feeling this is the new face of summer....which looks more like spring. It is the changing weather patterns from global warming. pretty soon we will have two seasons.....one spring- one winter.....and both will be colder and more rain filled. We will be another.....Vancouver.

Thinking about getting a pug. Or Boston Terrier. Both are compact, but not the wussy dogs you see all the male body-builders in Toronto, walking. Those fru-frou dogs that are all fuzzy with little pink bows and yappy mouths. But they also aren't the slobbery rambunctious labs and mixes or Danes or Bernard's that people use to overcompensate for the fru-frou dogs.

To be honest I would prefer a cat. A prissy, independent, short haired (to allow for Stu's allergies) affectionate kitty. I swear I wouldn't become the lady that lives above us that walks her cat on a leash every morning and lets it wander the halls aimlessly, trying to sneak into new apartments every time a door opens. That HUGE fat black cat that has already attempted to sneak into my own apartment....luckily he was on a leash and his owner (Mathilda or some weird name) was able to drag him out....literally, as in he layed down and let himself be dragged out the door.

I have always been a person that tsk'd the general population for their obsession with getting old. I always considered myself above screaming and moaning over wrinkles or age spots and thought I would age gracefully.
I get it now.

I have smile lines and my skin isn't as taunt as it was 3-5 years ago and I have the strangest urge to run out and buy the most expensive skin creams Sears has to offer....but I won't. In fact, I have some Avon anti wrinkle cream that I turned my nose up at during Christmas last year and put it away and forgot about it. I have started using it with fervor and I am relieved. Not because my wrinkles are disappearing....but because it gave me zits. If I am still within a capacity to get zits then I am still young. Thank GOD!

I will take a zit any day as a reminder that my skin isn't too tired to support one. Screw you liquor store checkout person! i don't need you to ID me in order to feel young.....even if there is a dude in front of me, my age, and then you ID him and he laughs and you say it is because he has a young face, and then I am next and you just proceed with checkout without so much as a glance my way. Bitch! *cough* Ok. I am fine now.

Until next time,....

WHerE Is ThE RoADkiLl CEmETeRY?

Thought of the day:

The grossest thing about this government employee strike IS NOT the garbage piling up. Turns out it is the roadkill! That’s right! The thankless job of scraping the city’s unfortunate from our roads has gone unnoticed until now. The same dead pigeon in the MIDDLE of the turning lane is still there, even though it gets flatter every day. It is no more then a pink smear with feathers sticking out of it now, but in the beginning of the week I would cringe every time I felt the slight ‘bump’ of it going under my tire. That’s just the birds! What about the stinky skunks and poor pets gone astray? Our cats and…hamsters…..They won’t get a proper burial with the rest of the roadkill….wherever that is…and to be honest I don’t really want to know where they take all the corpses of our forest friends. Maybe it is like they do in the western coast of Canada…..where they turn the corpses of deer and moose hit by cars and turn them into hamburgers at charity BBQ’s. Take my advice, next time the lions club or rotary club throw a charity function. Don’t eat the hot dogs or burgers….could be squirrel entrails and skunk tails and kitty cat feet.

On another note- I am not squeamish when it comes to expiry dates and it always boggles my mind when people will dump an entire carton of milk down the drain the DAY of the ‘supposed’ drop dead date on the top of the carton. Yogurt is essentially spoiled milk with bacteria in it to keep its shape. It CAN’T really get more rotten. At most it gets a little watery on the top. I still eat it…just pour it out. People psych them selves out. Just yesterday, Stu goes to pour some milk into a bowl for eggs and goes “oh no- this milk is expired” (Smells it and squishes his face all up) “eww, we should throw this out..” I take it from him. It expired that day. I smell it. Smells fine. I tell him so. He isn’t having it, so I ended up pouring it down the drain. Go figure there are no chunks, no gasoline effect (you know when it looks like it is separating..) and I am kissing my $3.99 goodbye as I watch the milk disappear.

Taking my car into the shop tonight. I am almost sad to lose the 'Ferrari- like' engine noise that makes me sound like I have a high performance vehicle. Needless to say, my car could crap out any minute. Cars are so expensive you know? I always thought as long as I got regular oil changes, tire rotations and balancing- my car would stay in good to fair condition. Not the case. I have spent thousands keeping my 2001 Grand Am BEAST on the road. Despite all of my efforts to keep it happy (even by pimping it out with a pink playboy emblem on the back window) it seems to want to die. Who know what this dealership visit will yield? Another $150 to replace APS sensors? A Thousand to replace the plug that was leaking oil into my coolant? $200 to replace the serpent belt? Getting nails taken out of my tires? (I have had to do that twice- likely a consequence of working for a developer).

All for now, loyal blog readers- off to the cottage this weekend to get some....rain. It can't be worse then last weekend. Gotta love when your boyfriend gets slapped by a stripper. Ask me about it sometime....I'd be forbidden to write about it here. lol

In my world Ken gave Barbie REAL flowers

My favorite thing about summer (apart from not having allergies) is driving with the windows down on the HWY and smelling lilacs. For instance I was enjoying it today- until a spider crawled on me and bit me- GAH. I hate spiders. I love the smell of lilacs though. If you look closely at Lilacs they are made up of tiny little flowers and smelling them reminds me of the time I used to take tiny bunches and have ken give them to Barbie.

I realize my last post was depressing. I am going to try to refrain from writing like that in the future. I am not going to delete it because it was true. I do think like that...but when you live with an affliction....it is just that- live able. I have accepted I think like that and I work with it. Some people who have OCD go through life every day struggling with compulsive behaviors like hand washing and repetitive cleaning. Mine is simply a point of view about my body. Sure it is disruptive, but like any affliction, there are things we can do by ourselves to treat it.

Stuart and I got gym memberships together and have been going every night after work. We are starting slow because we have both been on Haidas because of the move and we are out of shape. But we are both adequately sore and it feels good.

My sister is planning her wedding. Without me. We had a disagreement a couple of weeks ago. Neither of us did anything particularly wrong to anger the other person,...we just both dealt with a situation badly...I was emotional and she was mean and sarcastic. So we aren't speaking and it is like that saying 'something's gotta give'.....and it is normally me and so I am not going to give in this time because I tend to cater to everyone and have thrown in that dirty old towel. My mother is under the impression that this silence will go on all summer.....it might, but it will be a good lesson for us. I am supposed to be....I think.....the maid of honour and am not involved in her wedding planning....which is sad to me, but I guess the silver lining= less work for me!

Stu has a Bachelor Party this weekend and I have the house to myself. Hopefully that means strippers and booze for him and quiet cleanliness for me.

A Bistro of our own

Off to the cottage for the weekend. Really starting to enjoy the apartment I got with Stu. We have everything we need now except for a toaster and little odds and ends like candles and a broom, but for the most part we are completely settled. We bought curtains yesterday- what a fiasco. There were separate panels on sale in a nice sheer brown...they all appeared to match so we bought 3 panels and when we got them home and up on the wall- one was a strange fabric and a little different colour, one was about 1.5 feet shorter then the other two panels and so we had three curtains....all different. I went back to the store and pulled a little switcheroo. I didn't feel like waiting in line for customer service. I knew there was one panel left of that shade and didn't want to risk it not being there. So I went...measures....it matched one of the other panels perfectly...so I switched the curtains in the package....tadaa! We have a whole matching set....and now out cute little table has a 'bistro' feel to it. My sister says I am pathetic for being so concerned with this apartment and decorating. While other twenty-somethings are posting photos of their weekend at the bar, I am putting up pics of a new rug...or table or place mats. Oh well, it is where my life is at right now. Once I have more time to explore the area...there will be more social photos...
I have decided I know why marriages fail. People are getting married all around me- it must be the season of marriage. But I say, what's the rush? Make sure you truly know who it is you are committing your life to. I mean, I have been with Stuart for 6 years and we still surprise each other every day with reactions and thoughts and opinions...and as important as that is, I think it is equally important to know what you are getting into. You have to know the person you are planning on spending your life with.....your whole freakin life. Anyway, my thoughts aren't flowing....so until next time...

Dispatched into the world of 9 to 5> Boo!

Thought of the day-

What is this Twitter anyway?

I swear. I added it. I gave it a go. I even added Spencer Pratt to my list of those I follow. But honestly? Who cares what celebrities are doing every hour on the hour. I use facebook for most of my status updates anyway and what is twitter but the 'status' function without the help of pictures and applications to move you along? Seems like an utter waste of time to me. I have a single follower. Someone who probably thought I was someone else. I had a dream that all the same people that have me on facebook added me on twitter. Most of these people don't talk to me, so what do they care if I am 'having a good day' or 'bought a rug' or am 'going to the grocery store'. Sorry Twitter, but I think I'll stick with Facebook. It is just one more site to get addicted to. I think I will leave it for the Americans. It seems to be more their thing anyway...

So I managed to drag Stuart to Ikea with me to buy an area rug. I swore up and down that I wouldn't dawdle and would have narrow vision all the way to the rug department. Needless to say we left with some scissors, a bag holder, two plants, two planters, a beach towel and a rug. Sorry Stu. What do you expect a girl to do when it is her second time in a huge store like ikea where every direction has tasteful colours and compositions....it is a trap.

Sadly, today I sent my resignation letter to the Guelph Police. No more dispatching for me :( it is probably for the best though because last time I worked a night shift for them about 5 months ago, the station had new phone and computer systems and I didn't know how to work anything and none of my passwords and sign ins worked. Despite my sadness at not being able to work with my favorite cops at the cop shop- I won't miss the 1am and 2am phone calls asking me to come in for shifts the following morning. Either will my mom.

The police community has such strong solidarity that you can't help but feel you are part of something special; some secret society that no one outside of the station is privy to. I realize that I wasn't a police officer, but we get treated like them inside the station and a very wise dispatcher once told me "police dispatchers tell police where to go.." so therefore without us they might never get there to save lives and break up fights and whatever other horrors can emerge on a University campus in the dead of night. The thing I will miss MOST is wearing the little headset. That's right.

So ...New Gym. Coed. Men...sweaty. Working out beside me. Distractions. I have been once. lol. I am so used to a woman's only that I forgot what it is like to be female working out with men. Even if you are ugly, they stare at you. Frig....makes you want to work out harder though because you know they are measuring you up. Bah! All for now, loyal blog readers- if there are any?

Stick to your Guns....Just don't shoot yourself with them!

(TEXT HAS BEEN EDITED OUT FOR PROTECTION OF BLOG WRITER- ME!

It's Trendy to be forever out of Style.

How come once you become really accustomed and good at portraying a trend, it suddenly changes. For instance, I just got a really nice hair straightener and have figured out how to perfectly straighten my hair- got the right products and techniques and now all of a sudden- Big & bold is better. Big curls and volume and waves are desired and I suck at that.

Or how about flares....I managed to acquire a bunch of really funky flares in grade school and then- WHAM- wide leg. And tights...I finally found the courage to sport the tight colourful tights under dresses and skirts and it is slowly being phased out for skinny jeans. I can't wear those! I was just mastering the layered look with cropped jackets and now everything is the long lean silhouette. Sorry hunny- that ain't me.

In high school i finally found the cash for some clunky heals and then...BOOM-pointy thin stilettos. I should have saved all my plaid shirts when I just didn't give a damn because, you know that month, when they came back? (probably because Lauren Conrad started wearing them)....well I missed it! I had so much flannel plaid!

I buy curve hugging lou lou lemon and then it is cool to have boyfriend pants (baggy sweats!)

I get those flowy floural shirts and then everything is STRIPES!

It is so uncool! So I guess I will just be out of style. Or not out...just one or two steps behind....

As SHARP as a KNIFE!

Here are my thoughts for the day:

If in heat particles expand and wood and objects generally get bigger and in cold, particles squeeze together and objects get smaller (the perfect example is the front door of a house in summer might scuff the floor and not close properly and in winter it swings wide with extra space). So if this is the logic, then how come people SHRINK in saunas? I mean, I know the science behind it- what with sweating off the inches) but if it were to follow the hot/cold trend- then shouldn't we bloat in the heat? And you know that common thought that people feel fatter in winter and thinner in summer....wouldn't that be backwards? I wish the world was more consistent.

So the weather is getting warmer and summer clothes are a little tighter then they were last year. That's the problem with moving. You dig out the things that have been lost in your closet, either purposefully or accidentally. You see the pretty skirts from when you were 18 and the bar tops from early university life and it makes you nostalgic and you stare at yourself even harder in the mirror afterwards.

Is that a wrinkle that wasn't there yesterday? Do I see blue veins on my eyelids? I know I will never wear those things again. I will never be as young as I am right now and if I am too old for it now....So you lock them away in storage bins hoping that next time you move you might be able to at least put them on for old times sake and not just glare at them bitterly.

For one last Hurrah I found a salon in North York and put bleached blonde streaks in my hair to feel like a bombshell, when in reality, I know I won't be going out and getting drunk or sleased out any time soon. In actuality I am perusing the Internet for used furniture to outfit my apartment and researching plants that flourish inside in the shade.

Since moving into the GTA I have found my fear has exponentially increased. I am not denying that I have a bit of paranoia about being attacked by a senseless mugger in the fading dusk while innocently walking to get groceries- but it could happen! All my life I have attracted weirdos- that's not just a comment on those I have dated, but really weird people- homeless addicts sitting beside me on buses telling me their life stories....I am ALWAYS the person that cars pull over to ask directions or other strange questions like "where's a good place to get greasy Chinese around here?" Keep in mind there could be any number of people on the street with me and I would STILL be the chosen target.

So now when I walk anywhere...every face is an enemy, every set of footsteps behind me is a stalker and every set of darting eyes are looking to disarm me. It doesn't help matters that while Stu and I were house shopping, we saw a man rob a woman not more then 20 steps from us and no more then 3 blocks from where we are living now.

I expressed these concerns to my dad, and being the over protective mans-man that he is- he provided me with a selection of switch blades and jack knifes and any other kinds of knifes to choose from. I chose a small button operated- non automatic swing blade with a two inch blade. It fits neatly into the back pocket of my purse that has easy- hidden access if I need to get it discreetly. All my mom and sister could do was laugh and express their fear for Stuarts life, now that I am armed. You watch, I will use it when I get attacked and then who will be laughing!

On my first lonely walk to the grocery store at nine o'clock at night, I kept my hand resting on it the whole way. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

I imagine the feeling will go away as I become more comfortable with the area. I hope so. All for now, loyal blog readers!

Home Bitter-Sweet Home

Here are my thoughts for the day-

If sun bleaches hair, clothing, curtains, most fabrics and almost all colours-then why does skin get DARKER in the sun. It's a conundrum. I understand the science behind it, what with the melanin and all that (after all i am a retired tanning consultant) but the logic behind it is backwards and non-deductive.

So we moved into our new place on Tuesday. A cute little apartment with hardwood floors, big windows, small kitchen and single bedroom. A feature worth noting is the fact that there is a window in the shower. It IS frosted, but when you open it, there is nothing but the screen to keep your nudity from the world. One day when I am feeling particularly bold, I may put on a little show. lol.

We have no large pieces of furniture: No couch or desk or drawers or table or chairs....not even a TV. All of that will hopefully come on the weekend. In the meantime we are living amongst storage bins and boxes. My clothes are in a garbage bag and I spend my nights unpacking dishes and building shelves.

The drive to work is a breeze, however I ran into a bit of a blunder with parking. I was supposed to be assigned a parking space but was never contacted by the landlord so I have been parking in a perpetually vacant parking spot for the past 3 nights until I have time to call him. This morning I was met by a drunken neighbour- and when I say drunken- I mean a man in his 50's about 6'2 with a beer gut, a beard and a housecoat REEKING of booze. Most importantly, a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other (this is as 7:30 in the morning) tapping on my window and slurring "HeY! CaN YOu NOt pArK iN my pARkinG SpOT?"

I of course am shocked and can only sputter something about being given the wrong spot # and that it won't happen again in the future. I started driving away before he finished expressing his anger about the hassle of trying to find another spot...or I should say I accidentally put my car into drive and almost hit the parking divider before finding reverse and hauling my ass out of there. As I watched him shrink in my rear view mirror, I imagined him hucking his beer at the back of my car in drunken rage, but then I though ' a true alcoholic would never waste a beer to huck it at a car, they would just drown their rage- in more beer'.

I am contemplating replaying this little interaction for the landlord, but I am not sure what he'd do. Tell this tenant not to confront other tenants in the early morning while intoxicated, but to leave a message to the landlord to handle it? That would be appropriate I guess, but I would have missed out on all the excitement from the encounter.

On a more positive note, there is an adorable puppy that lives in one of the apartments in our building and we have been extended an invitation to play with him whenever we want. His name is Doc and he is a little golden retriever puppy. Anyway, more updates coming soon- stay posted loyal blog readers.

Moving UP and ONWARD...

Here are my thoughts for the day-

If the rumour goes that 'woman drivers are bad drivers' (and lets just break this down for a second)- bad drivers meaning being reckless, unaware and causing accidents- then why is it that male drivers have higher insurance rates? Insurance rates that are high indicate a high risk group or individual. Male drivers between the ages of 16-25 have the highest insurance rates of any other group. So does that mean *gasp* that the rumour is misguided? Or are young drivers (teens) an entirely different phenomenon all together?

Or from a different angle- what about elderly drivers? They are a high risk group right? So is an elderly woman driver worse off then an elderly male driver? The stats wouldn't support this. Men lose it sooner then women- more prone to Alzheimer's and sight problems AND they die sooner... But maybe elderly women just drive MORE because of the shopping. We all know the grannies love to shop and maybe this skewers the stats.

And Asian drivers? They have a brutal driving reputation. It could be that the immigrants are used to driving on the other side of the road. Sorta like the British... So would the elderly female Asian driver be the absolute worst possible driver? Then how come I have never seen one on the show 'Canada's worst Driver'? Maybe they have heard the rumours too and so they are more cautious because of it. Whatever.So Stuart and I have finally taken the dive and signed a lease. We wanted to be well educated on the housing Market in North York and so we did alot of research...we must have seen 30 or more properties and the final verdict? We were more confused by the end of it than if we had just nabbed the first place we saw.

Note to those of you who are looking for a new home- keep it under ten and choose amongst them. The more you see, the more options you see you could have and then your expectations go up and then you can't find a single property with everything you are looking for. Believe me. In the end, we settled. We saw so many beautiful basement apartments that were big, all inclusive, but then they didn't have great access to the TTC and then we saw alot of small places with a subway on the doorstep and not enough living place. AND THEN we saw a few apartments that were expensive but would be our own place and not living under some random. So the compromise? We got the apartment that is expensive- a little too small- with moderate access to TTC and makes our travel time about half an hour a piece.

Already we have a bit of 'buyer's remorse' (even though we're renting) thinking we should have gone with this place or that for one reason or another. But whats done is done. Now comes the issue of moving in. Not quite old enough to rent a moving truck and in an awkward enough place that no one is available to help move us. The solution? One piece of furniture at a time. Every day after work, I will pack up my little Grand Am and drive back to my new home. Tedious, but efficient.

Whether this move will be the best for us is yet to be seen. Needless to say, there is a Claus in our lease that we can walk for $500.00. Hopefully we don't need it.

My birthday is coming up fast and i can't help but feel the best years are behind me and I have entered into the era of bills, rent and insurance payments. My sister is getting married next summer and I have the extra pressure of getting into 'picture posing' shape for it. I never want to get married. Weddings seem too stressful to plan and too expensive for one day. I was never the dreamy little girl that pictured myself in a big puffy sleeved wedding gown and my barbies never got married. They were promiscuous and had many partners and popped out babies right left and centre. We never knew who the father was (one of the three kens) and so the community raised the babies.

Last thought for the day-

Why are we still born with light eyes? The sun has been around since our species have been around and light eyes just don't make sense. Sun refracts around the periphery of light eyes and hurts. We have to squint and wear sunglasses and even then, our eyes sting in the sun. We should all be born with dark skin and shit-brown eyes.

NOT the other woman.

I thought the days of being all consumed by your romantic relationship were left behind in high school dust and yet I find I am encountering it now more then ever. You remember that person who was your best friend in school, the person you always called to talk to and spent most of your spare time with- when all of a sudden they got a boyfriend or girlfriend and dropped you like an old hat. Or better yet, the friend of the opposite sex who gets a boyfriend or girlfriend and suddenly is uncharacteristically sheepish about calling and talking to you, who un-tags themselves in pictures with their arm around you like you are some skeleton they are trying to sweep out of their closet or an ex girlfriend they are trying to forget.

What is the motivation behind this? Boyfriends and girlfriends are always threatened by other close relationships to their partner- opposite sex or not, the idea that there is a connection between you both that maybe they can’t achieve or needs that they can’t attend to, is the main source for all of this awkwardness.

Personally I have had more then a few close guy friends that get girlfriends and then stop talking to me. Whether it is because their girlfriend feels threatened by our friendship or the guy just wants to avoid explaining who I am and why their girlfriend should have ‘nothing to worry about’. I hate losing friends this way. It is that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you call this old friend and are excited about talking to them and when they pick up, you can hear their partner in the background say “who is that?” and you hear your friend hesitate, then say your name only to hear the disapproving groan of a response in the background. It is the feeling of knowing you aren’t allowed to be friends with that person anymore and it makes you want to tell them that their boyfriend/Girlfriend is no good for them if they won’t let them talk to their friends, but you know that will only give their partner a real reason not to like you. You can’t win. You have to bow out and hope they break up so you can re-establish a friendship with that person.

Now that I am older, I can’t afford to be loosing friends over such trivial matters. I am not going to be a home wrecker. I am not going to pursue your man. I just want his friendship. Please don’t have a personal vendetta against me because maybe I dated your boyfriend 10-15 years ago when I was a kid.

GAH! Can’t we all just get along…

If today was your last day...

It's a depressing thought that you will never be as young as you are right now. Your cells will never stretch as well, recover as well- you will never have less wrinkles then you do right now. You know that song,..I think it is by nickelback- if today was your last day and tomorrow was too late ...etcetera. And it goes on to talk about forgiving your enemies and giving away all your money. So I challenge you all to really take a minute to reflect on that. What WOULD you leave behind and what would you do if you were gone tomorrow. What lasting impression would I leave?

Well, I created my school mascot. The chemong Dragons are dragons because I created it....my copyrighted image is all over the school. But would anyone ever really remember that it was me that created it? If I walked through the halls today, 10 years from the time I drew it-would people point and say- there is the girl that created our dragon-esque legacy. Probably not.

I haven't written or published anything great, though I have been informally writing my autobiography since I was 12, even though the life of a preteen isn't that interesting and no one would read it. In truth, I would leave behind a couple diaries packed with ticket stubs and the half witted dreams of a girl with too much imagination....and this blog. Of course it is packed with witty banter but isn't worth much. I imagine there would be some art left behind. Sketches of the super heroes that never came to be and self portraits that couldn't be less flattering. Maybe a few nudes here and there- though there have been witnesses to my burning some of my paintings at a bonfire when we ran out of firewood and I ingeniously pulled the canvasses from my trunk for more fuel.

I guess some things only have the value that we percieve them to have- for instance a wooden frame and canvas with a nude of my boyfriend would be more valuable in the fire creating warmth then on the wall inspiring lust....not that it would....lol Sorry Stu.

This weekend I spent some time reflecting with some girlfriends about how fast life goes when you are finally ready for it to slow down. But I guess that is the way it is with life- you want the opposite of what you have- if it's straight you want curly if you are old you wish you were young, if you are fat you want to be thin, and when you are finally coming into yourself and want your twenties to stop speeding by- they seem to do just that.

I am going to think about what I want to leave behind. Perhaps a new league of women super girls, or children's picture books, a tortured 'too long' monologue about my life or a painting....beautiful paintings that are what I want to paint....unicorns and such ha ha. All for now, loyal blog readers...

I need a place to live. I need to get out of my sister's house and into a dirty little low income starter apartment to call my own. Here is an unrealisitic list of things I would like to have in this sketchy apartment:


-big bathroom with tub and counter space

-lots of natural light and big windows

-open concept setup...minimal walls

-parking

-some vegitation (trees or a walking path- anything other then the cold concrete of the city.

- a gym within walking or (small) driving distance

-no fear of getting shot

- public places with free parking

-no 3 lane roads outside my front door.


I don't think it is unreasonable to get at least some..or most of that. But housing is NOT affordable and the closer you get to the Toronto core, the less you get, but for more money. Driving makes me anxious in the city and so i would prefer to be as far from toronto downtown...or uptown- as possible....but I guess when you are moving WITH someone, you have to compromise. We will see though who gets the short end of THAT compromise.

Congrats are in Order!

My sister finally got what she's been waiting for. It's been 10 years and she got the proposal of her dreams, the ring of her dreams and hopefully the man of her dreams. On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air.On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air. All this talk of weddings and futures it really gets you thinkin.
All these landmark events have been happening- sister is engaged, sister just turned 30 and got a house and a puppy....ok wait,...so maybe my sister has been through landmarks...But I will be getting my own place soon. I have my first semi-real job and am starting to get comfortable with my age and in my own skin.

I recently had a conversation with one of my close girlfriends about the ticking of the internal clock; when you start to feel it and how it affects your choices.
For instance, in my late teens, I couldn't get enough attention from men, I strung along as many as I could at one time, 2 boyfriends- you name it.I didn't care about what I was going to do after highschool or after university, i just expected it all to fall into place.
As you get older, you smile more at commercials with babies in them. You find yourself analyzing the real estate market and looking for deals and cracks in foundation. Instead of thinking whether or not you simply get along with your partner, you start measuring them up as a husband or wife. Their ability to provide for a family. Would he make a good father? Would she run a tight household? Tick tick tick...
I don't care how loud the ticking gets. I refuse to let myself feel rushed. I am going to take my sweet as time to make such HUGE decisions about having kids, getting married, buying furniture and such...

It's time for my NEWS update.

I feel like I can finally say to my children that "I was there when they found the source of the cure for all the worlds diseases". Just recently a lab in Toronto reported that they had a breakthrough in stem cell research. They found that they inject a normal cell with something ...scientific and they can convert it to a stem cell of their choice.,..for skin, the spine, brain etc....Stem cells regenerate and so there you go...cure for cancer and those who are paralyzed. Not only that, but they found that they can convert ADULT cells into these stem cells. That means, no more steeling from embryos. I feel like the beginning of the movie "I am legend" taking what I hear at face value and realizing that everyone is going to want to volunteer for human trials without enough R&D and we will all turn into zombies or something. Or it could just kill us. Either way, every great discovery needs casualties. I just won't be volunteering any time soon or getting any 'shots' to prevent cancer. *Shudder*. I am a little over-obsessed with zombies and diseases that will bring the apocolypse and end our existance as we know it...it will be in MY lifetime. I am convinced!

And there ya go! My clock just wound itself backwards. Cheers, loyal blog readers.