Happy Birthday to ME!

So I finally found the new member of my family. Her name is Sashimi and she is a red Beta. I got her at Pacific Mall (which is chaos by the way- take every bad driver in the world and put them into a single parking lot). It was sort of impromptu fish buying because I was really there to get new glasses.

After getting my eyes checked I am told that my eyes have changed significantly in ONE YEAR and that my one year old prescription is now no good. So goodbye brand new glasses (from last year) I am onto my next pair of overpriced plastic and glass. My last pair were ‘Dior’ but my new pair is ‘Prada’. I am not a name brand whore for anything but glasses. I figure they are something I wear everyday 12-14 hours a day and they had better be nice and good quality or they won’t last me a year (not that it mattered this time around because my eyes keep friggen changing). These are the glasses tho--->

Some of you are probably thinking- “why doesn’t she just get new lenses put in her old glasses?” well, because it isn’t cost efficient. Yup, that’s right- lenses by themselves cost more than frames and lenses together. I took my old Dior frames to lenscrafters and asked if they could put new lenses in them and they quoted me $340 BUCKS! But they said the lenses would be half price if I got a set of frames….and the frames are between $150-$250….so…same price with lenses! It’s a total rip off. So to PAC MALL I go to get cheap- Chinese made- goods. Same name brand, same quality…just cheap cheap cheaper! And maybe the lenses aren’t as good of quality, but I figure, as long as I can see, it doesn’t matter how scratch resistant, or anti glare they are.

So the big birthday is coming this week. It’s just so shocking to think that by this age- almost all the women in my mother’s generation had babies and were married. I am going to be 25. I am officially allowed into those ‘mature’ bars that are 25+. I haven’t been to a club in years. I am officially too old for brands like Bebe and Juicy. No more stitches or Garage. Too old. I don’t like this birthday. People couple this age with things like mortgages and car insurance and maternity clothing. I don’t want any of those. Yet.

It’s always funny when Facebook announces you have a birthday and you get birthday wishes from the most random people. People you haven’t spoken to in YEARS. However, if you DON’T get those wishes…you somehow feel emptier. It is sad to think that people saw that little reminder on Facebook Home Page and ignored it. So I hope I get lots lol. Having a birthday on a Wednesday is pretty lame. It’s hump day, which means you can pick either weekend (the one before or the one after) to celebrate. You can’t really celebrate on the Wednesday. It is still too early in the week to go ‘balls to the wall’ crazy, because the rest of the week will suffer, but it is late enough in the week, that you think you could gamble a few glasses of (whatever). I think my parents and my sister’s family is going to take me to dinner at Frankie Tomatos…some Italian joint. I am told I will be spinning ‘the birthday tomato’. Whatever that means. It will likely be a humiliating ‘attention getting’ sing song thing. I hate that. I will be as red as the tomato.

Anyway, to all those Virgo’s out there- enjoy being passionate perfectionists with a tendency towards jealousy and loyalty. Enjoy being artistic and eccentric and sexy! And HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!!!!

BIKINI CONTEST

PAINTED IN MICROSOFT PAINT. THAT IS ALL...

When YOU have cramps, blame HIM!

Menstrual Synchronization has been in debate since the 1970’s. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I am talking about, it is the phenomena of woman’s menstrual cycles becoming synchronized (happening at the same time) if they spend too much time together. I spent some time researching it when my period was 4-5 days late for no good reason (Don’t worry, I am not Prego- it has come since then). I recently started working in an office that is 98% female. Most young and in the their prime stage for fertility. The debate actually isn’t so much ‘how’ it happens, but more so ‘if’ it happens. As a woman, I KNOW it does. But many scientific panels of over 100-200 woman show conflicting results as to whether or not woman’s periods align themselves together after prolonged exposure to each other. They would put 180 women in a dorm together for five months and see if their period schedules changed. In some studies it did, in others, there was almost no support of the theory. Actually, in many of the articles I read, they called it ‘the myth of menstrual synchronization’.

The basis of the doubt comes from other studies of pheromones and their roles in human sexuality. It is unsure whether pheromones even exist and if they do, whether or not humans can sense them. You see, most animals that can sense pheromones, have an oscillatory nose sensor (in their nose), specifically designed to pick up pheromones. Human anatomy shows nothing like that. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have one. Evolution may have made it smaller or almost undetectable as its role in our sexuality because less prominent.

What scientists have theorized is that a woman who emits strong pheromones will become a dominant force in the menstrual cycles of other women. So obviously, someone who works in my office is wrecking havoc on my schedule. I am not alone, in passing I mentioned same to one of the girls I work with (and am relatively close with) and she mentioned she has had a second period in two weeks and completely agrees with the theory. She also mentioned that 3-4 of the other woman in the office have already become aligned recently when their schedules were quite different before.

They say that there might be two strains of pheromones. There is one to lengthen your cycle and one to shorten it and that by emitting both at different points in your cycle; you can affect other women who are around you at the time of emitting. An interesting note to go along with this is that in olden times, woman who cycled together used to be accused of being witches because it was thought that their menstruation changed to follow lunar cycles.

It has even been suggested that men might emit a pheromone that causes women to cycle more often and have heavier flows (ie. a healthier womb). This makes you more fertile/child friendly. So when you are cramping and uncomfortable too often, point those glares toward your man!

Interesting isn’t it?

Now, onto the next thing. My car. I got it, I drove it and it leaves me wanting. Wanting electric seats and windows, cruise control, my deck, sub and amp, my 15 speed windshield wipers, my big door handles and two extra cylinders of power and my gas cap that I can just open without pushing a button. All these things I had in my Grand Am, but it was falling apart and even I can admit it was time to say goodbye before the next $600.00 repair. But to be fair, it is much smoother and peppy of the line. It has a temperature gage on the dash and a specialty clock below the radio and PANIC HANDLES, which are the ultimate because I love to hold onto them as a passenger. It has lots of storage space. Not as many cup holders and certainly isn’t my pretty electric blue, but a boring, everyday silver. It is amazing on gas, has new tires, a big trunk and is much smaller and easier to park. IT HAS ROLL UP WINDOWS, which is definitely a let down when you want to create a wind tunnel by having both front windows down- because you CAN’T reach the passenger rolly thing to get it down…and you don’t feel as cool in a drive through.

I swear though that I will treat this car better than the last one. No old coffee cups and garbage, no makeup stains or dusty dash. But it is hard to look after a car when your parking spot is beside a moron who doesn’t know how to drive. I swear, his car is over my line 90% of the time. And he obviously doesn’t give a crap about his car because the windows are broken and stay down all the time. One of his taillights hangs uselessly at the side and there is enough dents and scrapes that it looks like a gang of preschoolers went at it with sticks. So, it’s no real surprise that the VERY first day I got my car I got a parking ticket (despite calling in my plate to guest parking) and a door ding- from the retard. But can you really prove they dinged you? No. And besides, even if I went after them for it, if they can’t even afford to get their windows fixed, my door ding will NOT be a priority for them.

Before I finish, I have one last juicy bit of info to give to the world (or just those people that don’t know already). Megan Fox- the very one and the same that is considered to be the hottest woman in the world- has TOE THUMBS. That’s right. A flaw. A huge gross flaw. Ha ha. Yes, that is my bitter rivalry and secret amusement that someone as perfect as Megan, might not be so perfect. It is a genetic condition she was born with that makes her have clubbed thumbs. So good! Enjoy some of the images. I know I sure did!

I have lots more to say because I have been neglecting my BLOGGER duties. But I think a single entry can only be so long. I just won’t wait as long next time. Until then, loyal blog readers!