SEX and CANDY- Clean it up with Magic Eraser!

So the everything to do with Sex show at the exhibition place was interesting. Apart from the naked women walking around in ropes and nipple tassels and the women that were nude but painted to look like they were wearing clothes, it was fairly tame.

We walked around between the many isles of naughty clothing and movies and toys. We got a cupcake from a massage booth and bought a Christmas ornament to support women's cancers. (Speaking of which, my sympathies to my dear friend who just lost her mother to such a cancer). We watched some amature (fully clothed) pole dancing and then listened to girls imitate the best orgasmic experience they could. We picked up lots of reading material....not exactly coffee table top worthy, but interesting for sure! There are whole magazines out there with personal ads. Couples looking to swing, men looking to watch, women looking to join. I mean what happened to good old fashioned...sex. When did it get so complicated?

I mean, I am fairly liberal- but even I felt compelled to blush. Have you ever been on Craigslist or Kijiji and glance over the 'personals'? I mean a magazine is one thing, but you can actually post a 'looking for' ad for ....relations. On kijiji. It seems a little desperate to me. Aren't there other venues for that? I mean you can seach for a crib and toys in the same place you can look for a fellow cross dresser. Don't they say that you should never shop in a place where you can buy a wrench and a watermelon in one stop? Anyway- this is a family blog, so enough of that. And by family- I mean, I have my mother on facebook and I think she reads it. Ha ha.

So I have this theory that the magic eraser will whiten teeth. My parents recently came over to see my apartment for the first time and I managed to remove (god knows how many) years of stain off of the old white linoleum counter. I am talking burn marks, coffee stains, wine spills...you name it. All gone....back to perfectly white. This wasn't the expensive Mr. Clean brand either! It was the KNOCK OFF! When I get home tonight I am going to dampen it and then go to town on the pearly whites and see what comes off on this magic sponge...

Congratulations are due for my sister who finally said 'YES' to the Dress. I think dress shopping is a lot like playing the field or dating around. You see what is out there, you try a few things out. Spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of this one and that one, but when you find one that works- you have to STOP LOOKING!!! There is always going to be a better looking dress. One that fits you better. One that makes you feel better about yourself, but like your love life, you have to know when you are done shopping around and commit to it or you will drive yourself crazy.

The Cure for Road Rage

Thought of the Day-

Air fresheners have really come a long way. I mean, do you remember the days of bathroom air fresheners when they were loud and obnoxious…or just plain noxious. Where instead of eliminating an odour they would just mix with it to create some new perfume, repugnant to the nose. I swear, I can take my late morning….cr*cough* and then spray the new fabrese air effects afterwards and it is completely silent. No “SHHHHHPPPPSSSHHHHH” sound to give the bowel movement away and no harsh after-smell that tells everyone where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. And most importantly, when your boss walks into the bathroom immediately after you, there is no worry about whether or not he’ll know.

Yesterday was the first snow of winter ’09 and I didn’t welcome it wistfully. It froze my windshield wipers to my windshield and made any black water on the road look ominous. Really, not a fan.

Stuart however is a whole other animal. All he can think and talk about is Christmas and skiing. He loves Christmas. I expect to walk through the door one day (and I am talking November here) and our apartment will be a winter wonderland, complete with Christmas tree(s), tacky Santas, Christmas lights on every surface and wreaths and holly everywhere. Not to mention the overplayed jingles playing in every room.

I will do what I can to reign him in and at least keep it tasteful. No plastic Santas on the door and no stuffed reindeer. As for the Christmas tree- an expense that is NOT in the budget- I need to limit it to between 4-5 feet. If Stuart had his way it would be curved along the ceiling with every branch encumbered with a sparkly bobble.

I have figured out the cure for road rage. Believe it or not, it is as simple as a wave. I have found (being involved in crazy Toronto Traffic for over 6 months now) that being cut off and butted in front of by vehicles (mostly BMW’s but that is a whole other rant), that when I am entirely enraged and want to get even, all of these negative emotions are negated by a simple hand wave to the rear view mirror. It’s true, when someone merges into your lane and purposely speeds up just to get in front of you and your first instinct is to honk, you are immediately quieted by a simple black outline of a raised hand. I have adopted this technique and I find I get honked at less and am let into a lane more often simply by waving my thanks and my acknowledgement of the fact that I am being a dick.

After all this time, I am surprised by how many drivers do NOT do this. Seriously! If you have to cut me off, at least acknowledge to me that you did it, so I don’t plan your demise for the next 100 meters.