Double Cohort THIS mutha F*#%er!

The question being posed a lot lately is whether students are prepared for university, coming out of high school. There has been a lot of opinionated junk filling the airways about it. I say- can you ever really be prepared?I mean, how prepared could my generation have been?

We were the first year of the double cohort. We were the guinea pigs. We were the trial run for new lesson plans and introductory courses. We had teachers that weren't sure how to teach these new concepts to us, so they kept it simple. Our 4-5 years (depending on our choice) of high school were a joke compared to what they are now. Teachers have had time to perfect the 4 year learning curve and better prepare students for more in less time. Does that mean we were expected to fail out of college and university? Cuz, no offense, I did fine. So did many of my peers. The success of person is built into their moral fibre. Their drive to succeed. Not their 'well learned skills' in high school. Ya right. I can barely remember the periodic table of elements and I knew the entire thing in high school- in a song! That I wrote! Ha!

If we are talking skills here, the most important thing I learned in high school is how to get by. It isn't HOW you deal with stress- just that you DO deal with it. Whether it is bullshitting your way out of it, rushing to complete last minute projects, or finding the all mighty doctors note- all of those skills can be applied in University. Screw organization, and time management and deadline dealing- how many University student do you know that can TRULY time manage? It is about last minute studying before exams, finding last weeks notes in a pile of food coupons, doodles and love letters, re-using old notebooks- writing on the backs of pages this time to avoid spending the five dollars for a new notebook. It is about going to class but having the good sense to know when skipping it won't hurt you too badly (except for a few scan tron questions on the next exam) or being aware that if there are presentations going on, no one will miss you and you won't miss anything.

It is about having the go ahead to get the Prof to remember your face and name,( studies have shown it substantially increases your GPA. Even when your papers don't warrant it). AND lastly, the most important thing to know to be prepared for University is that a nap between classes can save you soul and bring you to your night classes and greasy food can take the edge off a hangover.

Cheers, loyal blog readers! (Excerpt taken from toga parties and Jello shooters 101)

The Hazards of Driving...

I find myself sitting in traffic. I am sitting there for what seems like my entire life. I am spending so much time in stop and go traffic and the worst thing about it is that when you are driving you can’t multi-task to keep yourself interested. I mean, you could, but it is illegal. No putting on makeup, no munching on snacks, no fiddling with cell phones or painting your nails. It could all result in one big fat ticket.

Is it just me, or is traffic getting woooorsssee? When I first moved into my new place, (mind you it was the middle of June) my route to work would take 15-20 minutes and the route home would take 20-30 minutes. I take the 401 to the 404 and then proceed to HWY 7 in Markham. Maybe it is all the student drivers that are now back on the road since school started, or maybe the cold weather is making people drive slower, and angrier, causing more accidents. Now I feel like it takes nearly 40 minutes to an hour to go ANYWHERE.

You would think, the same people are driving the same route twice a day. So why all the accidents? All the collisions? All the turnovers? Are you not familiar with the risks of HWY driving by now? Are you not prepared for all the idiot drivers we see being honked at every day? COME ON PEOPLE! Get it together! Stop flipping your BMW’s and side swiping your Escalades and T-boning your T-Birds (ok I had to put that one in).

I’ve started being a rebel and calling people when I am stopped on the 404. Yep. I am risking it to keep myself sane. I certainly don’t have ADD, but can you imagine if I DID? OMG. I would be throwing gum at cars rolling by and making eyes at ugly old men to get a reaction. I would strike up conversation with cars with their windows down….ok I have done that….but only once or twice. As it is now, I twiddle my thumbs and sing along with the radio. But anyone who knows me well, knows I don’t have a head for lyrics and almost NEVER sing the right words. And it pisses me off when I am in a 2 line streak and screw up the last couple of words “there’s a she-wolf in your closet, open up the closet…so she…can…run”…..”dammit!” So I end up getting home angry and Stuart feels the wrath.

I have also attempted to read my book while sitting in traffic. I know, I know. But it goes like this- I am stopped. I read a line. Look up. Roll a foot. Stop. Read a line. Look up…..etc.

On an amazing note- Did you hear the one about that woman in the department store that was fed up with someone else's misbehaving child and took the liberty of spanking the child? She is being charged with assault. We have ALL been there where we wanted to intervene with the kid that is running warp speed down the isles or the screaming kid in the restaurant, or the one kicking your chair. We've all wanted to knock their block off. I applaud the woman who finally had the nerve to do it. Just last night, Stuart and I were sitting in Wimpy's and there were these two almost toddlers (about 4?) that were running up and down the restaurant and crawling all over the bar stools. They were screaming and getting filthy and I thought- If I did that when I was a kid, my mother would have fed me a line about staying on my butt or I would be "outa this restaurant so fast your head'll spin!" But I guess this generation is different.

Drowning in Taffeta & Lace Vomit

So Kanye has proved once more, how much of a classy guy he is by stealing Taylor Swift’s thunder and humiliating her internationally at the VMA’s. Like seriously Kanye….if Beyonce’s video was soooo good as you said, don’t you think the VMA’s would acknowledge her somewhere else? LIKE THEY DID- when they gave her video of the YEAR!

On a funnier note, isn’t it awesome that Lady Gaga was denied the priviledge of bringing a lion onto the red carpet with her? Ha ha. And then her speech gave a shout-out to the ‘Gays’. Gotta love those inclusive speeches.

Foosball is a friggen workout. My sister bought a competition grade foosball table and we played doubles matches all Sunday afternoon. No one can beat Steve. I mean, it was like trying to play hockey as a rookie against an NHL-er. Stu and I played him 2 against 1 and STILL got clobbered. I will have to improve my skills. They are valuable skills: to be able to rotate and flick your wrist-really fast!

Wedding planning is stressful. And it isn’t even my wedding. This past weekend, Jordana and I went to the wedding expo. It was $15 bucks to get in and walk around having salespeople try their damndest to sell you THEIR wedding cakes or THEIR invitation schemes. The only thing you end up getting as a freebie are coupons and wedding planners and stupid bags to hold are the useless pamphlets and paper they give you. The funnest part of the whole day was getting to see the wedding fashion show. FYI…models are not build to wear wedding gowns. Not only did it look like the weight of the ball gowns was going to drag them to the floor at any minute, but NONE of them filled out the top of these gowns. I don’t think you could even alter them enough that they wouldn’t gap and gape in odd places on these VERY thin and tall women.

On another note, on an up-close and personal basis, wedding dresses are sooo gross. They feel artificial and cheap and like polyester. Like glorified, blown up Barbie dresses. They are too thick and gaudy and impossible to admire hanging on a wire hangar along with other bulk, mass produced gowns in ever shade from dirty white to faded yellow. I am so glad I don’t have to swim through that ocean of taffeta and silk. There are just too many options….beaded bodice, mermaid, ball gown, train, strapless, cap sleeves, streamlined, A-line……barf.

I have been spending my free time parading around the most hilarious website in the world, stealing amusing shots of cats & dogs involved in hilarious antics. It’s sad I know. What started as a few funnies, is now an entire album of over 60 photos depicting my failure at having a social life. At least they give me the giggles.