The Hazards of Driving...

I find myself sitting in traffic. I am sitting there for what seems like my entire life. I am spending so much time in stop and go traffic and the worst thing about it is that when you are driving you can’t multi-task to keep yourself interested. I mean, you could, but it is illegal. No putting on makeup, no munching on snacks, no fiddling with cell phones or painting your nails. It could all result in one big fat ticket.

Is it just me, or is traffic getting woooorsssee? When I first moved into my new place, (mind you it was the middle of June) my route to work would take 15-20 minutes and the route home would take 20-30 minutes. I take the 401 to the 404 and then proceed to HWY 7 in Markham. Maybe it is all the student drivers that are now back on the road since school started, or maybe the cold weather is making people drive slower, and angrier, causing more accidents. Now I feel like it takes nearly 40 minutes to an hour to go ANYWHERE.

You would think, the same people are driving the same route twice a day. So why all the accidents? All the collisions? All the turnovers? Are you not familiar with the risks of HWY driving by now? Are you not prepared for all the idiot drivers we see being honked at every day? COME ON PEOPLE! Get it together! Stop flipping your BMW’s and side swiping your Escalades and T-boning your T-Birds (ok I had to put that one in).

I’ve started being a rebel and calling people when I am stopped on the 404. Yep. I am risking it to keep myself sane. I certainly don’t have ADD, but can you imagine if I DID? OMG. I would be throwing gum at cars rolling by and making eyes at ugly old men to get a reaction. I would strike up conversation with cars with their windows down….ok I have done that….but only once or twice. As it is now, I twiddle my thumbs and sing along with the radio. But anyone who knows me well, knows I don’t have a head for lyrics and almost NEVER sing the right words. And it pisses me off when I am in a 2 line streak and screw up the last couple of words “there’s a she-wolf in your closet, open up the closet…so she…can…run”…..”dammit!” So I end up getting home angry and Stuart feels the wrath.

I have also attempted to read my book while sitting in traffic. I know, I know. But it goes like this- I am stopped. I read a line. Look up. Roll a foot. Stop. Read a line. Look up…..etc.

On an amazing note- Did you hear the one about that woman in the department store that was fed up with someone else's misbehaving child and took the liberty of spanking the child? She is being charged with assault. We have ALL been there where we wanted to intervene with the kid that is running warp speed down the isles or the screaming kid in the restaurant, or the one kicking your chair. We've all wanted to knock their block off. I applaud the woman who finally had the nerve to do it. Just last night, Stuart and I were sitting in Wimpy's and there were these two almost toddlers (about 4?) that were running up and down the restaurant and crawling all over the bar stools. They were screaming and getting filthy and I thought- If I did that when I was a kid, my mother would have fed me a line about staying on my butt or I would be "outa this restaurant so fast your head'll spin!" But I guess this generation is different.