Toilets that FLUSH!!!!

Thought of the day-

If 'Shorts' are only called shorts because they are an abbreviation for 'short pants' then how come if you were to say to someone- "hey nice short pants!" - they would look at you like you were crazy. Or if you asked someone what 'short pants' looked like- they would most likely think Capri's or puddle jumpers (you know those pants....that are too Small......or short....for jumping in puddles? Cuz adults do that). So then maybe 'shorts' are like their own thing. Not 'short pants'. Just like a T-shirt is it's own thing. Not just a shirt shaped like a T. Because then that gives you the idea that the ideal form of a shirt is one with long sleeves. Like it is the base form. Or that pants must have long legs to be 'pants'. On another note- why don't freezers have a light too? I mean if I were the type to wake up in the night for a snack...I would go for ice cream for sure! But who wants to fumble around in the freezer in the dark, grasping for containers?

So today is my birthday. Is it just me or do birthdays sort of mimic valentines day? You go into it with high expectations and always end up disappointed. There won't be a room full of people and balloons when you get home from work. There likely won't be a cake waiting on the table for you and the gifts you get (even if they are amazing) will always leave something to be desired.

I am 24 years old. Ever since I turned 12 I have been telling everyone I was one year older then I am. My logic was that when you turn 12 you are in your 13th year of life- so you can say you are at 13....not 12- because when we are born, we start at 0, not 1. So we are technically a year older then we think we are. Anyway, that aside- this is the first year where I am not pushing the envelope. I am 24. That's it. Not 25 this year. This is like the golden year (with a side of oxidization) where you no longer feel like a kid. I didn't even know that I had crossed that invisible line. But the more people I ask, it seems it is common knowledge that up until 23 you can still be considered a youth. A kid, fresh out of university with their whole life before them....but NOT 24. I am laughing because it sounds ridiculous, but seriously. This is the year of mortgages and marriages and finances and financing. It is at 24 when women start really planning their future and looking at the possibility of children. You are in your mid 20's for god sake. You will be until you are 26. Up until 23 you were still in your early 20's.

My birthday is also bitter sweet for another reason. It marks the end of the summer. There is only ever 1 more weekend until I would have to go back to school, or start new classes, start digging out the fall sweaters. I am hoping that since the summer was so wet and cool, that this September and October will stay warm to make up for it. Before we know it, thanksgiving will be here and we will be crunching our way through leaf-littered side walks. I have got to get what fishing I can in before the season ends. I have already beat my record this summer at the cottage by catching a muskie. It was HUGE. Or so I say. Stu might say otherwise because he is jealous.

My family also only has so long until the brand new Jetski my parents bought a week ago (much to my grandmother's dismay), has to be put away for the season. * GASP* what next? Plumbing? SEPTIC?

I think it's time for an update. Cottages everywhere now have mobile Internet- cell phone service, running water. I remember the days of using a bag phone to order Chinese from the cottage- less then 10km up the road. We STILL have outhouses. We only just got the idea to spray the cabins for bugs to get rid of the mites... I understand the nostalgia of having old cabins that have been in your family for years- I do! But updating finishes and furniture and amenities doesn't take away from the old time quality of the place. It makes it more useable. User-friendly!

My Granny obviously is well into her 80's and won't let the 'magic of horseshoe' be touched or tainted until she is long gone (which nobody wants), but I tell you want I do want- water that I don't have to pump out of the faucet. Bunk beds that you don't fear will crush you in the middle of the night. Toilets you don't fear something will bite your ass where you sit. Only time and....financing (there's that word again) will tell. Until next time....

Something worth Dreaming About

It always baffled me when I would ask people what they dream about at night and they would tell me “I don’t remember” or “I don’t really dream” or “I don’t know”. When I go to sleep, my brain always takes a long time to shut down and so I would occupy myself by creating stories and characters and playing movies for myself.

Sometimes as I fall asleep they will turn into real dreams and the characters will start making and creating and changing their own storylines. That is when I enjoy them the most. It’s like day dreaming at night with your eyes closed. I make a character- a beautiful blonde dancer who gets kidnapped and I follow her storyline until I either fall asleep and my brain either turns to something else (normally crazy zombie dreams/apocalypse) or the blonde dancer wreaks a terrible revenge all of her own.


The human brain is an amazing thing.I thought everyone did this. I wouldn’t know how to go to sleep otherwise. Someone once told me I had the brain and imagination of a writer or screenwriter. No one is saying they would be good movies/books, but I might definitely give it a shot.

My favourite character I ever dreamed up was a woman-like creature born of a demon and a sprite. She has retractable claws and a long lion’s tail. Ebony hair down to mid thigh and regenerating wings that span at least 10 feet on either side. She has cat-like green eyes and a single small dot for a pupil that expands when she is angry. She exists in the time of the nomads and would hunt out side of their small mobile villages. Killing their livestock and the hunters that would try to catch her. I have been imagining her adventures for years.

Recently there has been a new target demographic for books called ‘teen fiction’. The twilight series is part of it….as well as many of the other great writers of our time. It is so frustrating because it is such a narrowing category. Imagine you (being in your 20’s or 30’s) go to chapters and see a book that looks interesting- science fiction or fantasy or romance- but it is in the teen fiction section, would you pass it by? I would. It is embarrassing to loiter around a section intended for the 13-18 age group. You get the strange looks from adults AND teens in the immediate vicinity. It SUCKS. And I know that if I were to write, many of my books (as if they would ever get published), would be in the ‘teen fiction’ section.

I’ve known lots of amazing minds that would make excellent writers. One of them, my friend Dan from highschool. He even looked like a writer….tall and lanky with glasses and a thick mop of curly dark hair. Very intense. I should facebook him and ask him if he’s been published yet. It is SO hard getting published. This weekend over a couple of drinks and under the intense glow of the sun, I was discussing with friends how to go about doing it. Before even thinking about a book, you need to get some articles and small pieces in magazines- even your alumni paper- where I have already been published, but didn’t take the necessary steps to save it to add to my port folio…and you need to have 4-5 of those under your belt before you can even THINK of getting a chance with the big publishing firms.

Some of the best writers I read- Sherrilynn Kenyon- she was rejected something like 100 times before her book was finally put out there. And when you really think about it- all the hundreds of millions of books in a store…some of them will never be picked up or even acknowledged and it is heart breaking to think of all the talented writers out there that will never have their day in the sun.

I still have some kinks I would need to work out before writing a full book. I will start with a short story. I still have weird issues with ‘tense’and 'point of view'…is the narrator first person, second or some all knowing being? Is the story being told in present tense- where you discover the story as it happens or is it being told by the person who already experienced it and is telling it from the future….there are so many options I tend to flip amongst them as I write ha ha. Bad news bears.


Things I hate about driving/drivers:

I hate slow drivers that are holding up an entire line of traffic and can’t even have the courtesy to change lanes, pull over or speed up, once they look in the rear-view mirror.

I hate when drivers are so pushy that they use the merging lane (that ends) to get ahead of traffic- when they AREN’T MERGING.

I hate when drivers don’t check their blind spot and begin to swerve into you.

I HATE when you need to get into a lane and no one will let you in and they KNOW they are being assholes and they won’t look at you or acknowledge you because of it. (Perfect example- I was coming home on the 404 and needed to get into the right lane going to the 401 WEST and I was in the 401 EAST lane and had my signal on for like 4 minutes and every time I tried to move into a gap- the other cars would speed up. GAH!)