As SHARP as a KNIFE!

Here are my thoughts for the day:

If in heat particles expand and wood and objects generally get bigger and in cold, particles squeeze together and objects get smaller (the perfect example is the front door of a house in summer might scuff the floor and not close properly and in winter it swings wide with extra space). So if this is the logic, then how come people SHRINK in saunas? I mean, I know the science behind it- what with sweating off the inches) but if it were to follow the hot/cold trend- then shouldn't we bloat in the heat? And you know that common thought that people feel fatter in winter and thinner in summer....wouldn't that be backwards? I wish the world was more consistent.

So the weather is getting warmer and summer clothes are a little tighter then they were last year. That's the problem with moving. You dig out the things that have been lost in your closet, either purposefully or accidentally. You see the pretty skirts from when you were 18 and the bar tops from early university life and it makes you nostalgic and you stare at yourself even harder in the mirror afterwards.

Is that a wrinkle that wasn't there yesterday? Do I see blue veins on my eyelids? I know I will never wear those things again. I will never be as young as I am right now and if I am too old for it now....So you lock them away in storage bins hoping that next time you move you might be able to at least put them on for old times sake and not just glare at them bitterly.

For one last Hurrah I found a salon in North York and put bleached blonde streaks in my hair to feel like a bombshell, when in reality, I know I won't be going out and getting drunk or sleased out any time soon. In actuality I am perusing the Internet for used furniture to outfit my apartment and researching plants that flourish inside in the shade.

Since moving into the GTA I have found my fear has exponentially increased. I am not denying that I have a bit of paranoia about being attacked by a senseless mugger in the fading dusk while innocently walking to get groceries- but it could happen! All my life I have attracted weirdos- that's not just a comment on those I have dated, but really weird people- homeless addicts sitting beside me on buses telling me their life stories....I am ALWAYS the person that cars pull over to ask directions or other strange questions like "where's a good place to get greasy Chinese around here?" Keep in mind there could be any number of people on the street with me and I would STILL be the chosen target.

So now when I walk anywhere...every face is an enemy, every set of footsteps behind me is a stalker and every set of darting eyes are looking to disarm me. It doesn't help matters that while Stu and I were house shopping, we saw a man rob a woman not more then 20 steps from us and no more then 3 blocks from where we are living now.

I expressed these concerns to my dad, and being the over protective mans-man that he is- he provided me with a selection of switch blades and jack knifes and any other kinds of knifes to choose from. I chose a small button operated- non automatic swing blade with a two inch blade. It fits neatly into the back pocket of my purse that has easy- hidden access if I need to get it discreetly. All my mom and sister could do was laugh and express their fear for Stuarts life, now that I am armed. You watch, I will use it when I get attacked and then who will be laughing!

On my first lonely walk to the grocery store at nine o'clock at night, I kept my hand resting on it the whole way. My heart was beating a mile a minute.

I imagine the feeling will go away as I become more comfortable with the area. I hope so. All for now, loyal blog readers!