Monday, May 17, 2010

What a Beautiful Fever you Have...

The problem when you have a fever is that you look unusually healthy. There is a slight flush to your cheeks, your eyes go extra bright, and you skin has an uncommon luminescence (which is actually just a sheer coating of sweat all over your body). So try telling your new job that you are so ill, you have to leave for the second half of the afternoon, when they have already complimented your appearance. Yup, just my luck! Three days into the new job I am struck with the flue. Like a freight train running clear through my day. Fever, achy eyes and head, sore throat, chills, cough, nasal congestion. And I didn’t even read those off of a bottle of flu meds. So Monday through Wednesday, I fought through my delirium. Feverishly I greeted patients and answered phones, while having an out of body experience ha ha.

By the third day, when the cough turned ugly and doctors and patients were giving me the wary eye and using extra hand sanitizer, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone any favours by sticking around. So off to bed I went. And of course when you get up in the morning and you would give anything to be able to sleep for a couple more hours- when you get a half day to be sick FOR THE PURPOSE of sleeping, you can’t make yourself fall asleep. It took me until almost 9pm before finally drifting off to a fitful slumber. Last night instead of counting on my own internal clock to take me to dreamland, I relied on my good ole friend ‘Nyquil cold and flu’ and Tylenol Cold-Nighttime. I had no trouble falling asleep. The trouble was trying to stay awake to catch the end of Grey’s Anatomy.

This weekend I am picking up my bridesmaid dress. It needs to be altered to fall above the knee and needs to be taken in around the chest (yes, I know, of all the places to need a dress taken in, it should NEVER be there). I don’t really want to try it on. My fear is that I will step into it, hate the way it looks on me and then dread the day of the wedding. So my plan was to alter it based on my measurements and slip into that puppy day of, and never look in the mirror. Let me hold onto my illusions. Meanwhile, the stupid seamstress will probably want me in the dress to pin it. I will just squeeze my eyes shut. This is not my day. It is my sisters. Whether I love or despise the dress (which I won’t know until it is on me), is irrelevant, because NO person in the wedding party can go up to the bride and groom and say “ya, so about this dress? It’s not workin for me…so I am just gonna pull something from my trustee closet”.

Weddings are a LOT of work. Dress & decoration shopping, making the party favours & invitations, the money box, planning the shower/bachelorette, picking the menu, planning transportation & accommodation, making a speech… and that’s just ME! Imagine being a bride? I have decided that any wedding I have will be a backyard BBQ. I just don’t want all the hustle and bustle. And the EXPENSES! It makes me sweat just trying to total up all the costs. Flowers, DJ, food, open bar, attire, venue, gifts, accommodation…it is like a thermometer with ‘Bankruptcy’ being the big ball at the top. God I hope I never have a daughter. And if I do, I hope she is post modern and doesn’t believe in the concept of marriage. I will bleed it into her at an early age. “1 in 3 marriages in today’s society end in divorce, hunny. It is just a money making scheme institutionalized by the government to feed the economy..”

So May 24 is here soon. That means a long weekend saturated with sun, beer and entertainment. You can bet that I will be at the cottage soaking up the rays. Maybe do some fishing , hiking, obviously some spring cleaning, but I will NOT be swimming. Since it is only May, the water will be cold and this body Is NOT bathing suit ready. I think that the surface of the pontoon boat is as close as I’ll be getting to the water. Anyway, enjoy your long weekend and be safe!

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