I need a place to live. I need to get out of my sister's house and into a dirty little low income starter apartment to call my own. Here is an unrealisitic list of things I would like to have in this sketchy apartment:


-big bathroom with tub and counter space

-lots of natural light and big windows

-open concept setup...minimal walls

-parking

-some vegitation (trees or a walking path- anything other then the cold concrete of the city.

- a gym within walking or (small) driving distance

-no fear of getting shot

- public places with free parking

-no 3 lane roads outside my front door.


I don't think it is unreasonable to get at least some..or most of that. But housing is NOT affordable and the closer you get to the Toronto core, the less you get, but for more money. Driving makes me anxious in the city and so i would prefer to be as far from toronto downtown...or uptown- as possible....but I guess when you are moving WITH someone, you have to compromise. We will see though who gets the short end of THAT compromise.

Congrats are in Order!

My sister finally got what she's been waiting for. It's been 10 years and she got the proposal of her dreams, the ring of her dreams and hopefully the man of her dreams. On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air.On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air. All this talk of weddings and futures it really gets you thinkin.
All these landmark events have been happening- sister is engaged, sister just turned 30 and got a house and a puppy....ok wait,...so maybe my sister has been through landmarks...But I will be getting my own place soon. I have my first semi-real job and am starting to get comfortable with my age and in my own skin.

I recently had a conversation with one of my close girlfriends about the ticking of the internal clock; when you start to feel it and how it affects your choices.
For instance, in my late teens, I couldn't get enough attention from men, I strung along as many as I could at one time, 2 boyfriends- you name it.I didn't care about what I was going to do after highschool or after university, i just expected it all to fall into place.
As you get older, you smile more at commercials with babies in them. You find yourself analyzing the real estate market and looking for deals and cracks in foundation. Instead of thinking whether or not you simply get along with your partner, you start measuring them up as a husband or wife. Their ability to provide for a family. Would he make a good father? Would she run a tight household? Tick tick tick...
I don't care how loud the ticking gets. I refuse to let myself feel rushed. I am going to take my sweet as time to make such HUGE decisions about having kids, getting married, buying furniture and such...

It's time for my NEWS update.

I feel like I can finally say to my children that "I was there when they found the source of the cure for all the worlds diseases". Just recently a lab in Toronto reported that they had a breakthrough in stem cell research. They found that they inject a normal cell with something ...scientific and they can convert it to a stem cell of their choice.,..for skin, the spine, brain etc....Stem cells regenerate and so there you go...cure for cancer and those who are paralyzed. Not only that, but they found that they can convert ADULT cells into these stem cells. That means, no more steeling from embryos. I feel like the beginning of the movie "I am legend" taking what I hear at face value and realizing that everyone is going to want to volunteer for human trials without enough R&D and we will all turn into zombies or something. Or it could just kill us. Either way, every great discovery needs casualties. I just won't be volunteering any time soon or getting any 'shots' to prevent cancer. *Shudder*. I am a little over-obsessed with zombies and diseases that will bring the apocolypse and end our existance as we know it...it will be in MY lifetime. I am convinced!

And there ya go! My clock just wound itself backwards. Cheers, loyal blog readers.

A Cruise can not be called a 'Pleasure Craft'

So it is freezing rain today. Instead of hitting and sliding down my windshield on the way to work, it splattered and shattered into a hundred pieces to be swooshed away by my wipers. Just this past Monday I got back from a cruise on the Crown Princess, which was a Christmas present from my Dad to my sister, my mom and I. I had never been on a cruise and was apprehensive about the possible motion sickness I would encounter from the rocking of the boat. People I spoke to had assured me that ‘no, you do not feel the motion of the ocean on the cruise’ and so I had gone on this big mother of a boat, somewhat unprepared. I bought the motion sickness patch which is good for 2ish days and I had two of them. And then I had herbal motion sickness pills.

Let me tell you what I have learned about cruises, because I consider myself to be an expert now. If you are going on a cruise and you are under the age of 35- GO CHEAP. That’s right….no denying, this ship was gorgeous, of titanic proportions. Gold hand railings and Persian carpets down spiralling staircases with crystal chandeliers hanging every couple of feet, but the more expensive the cruise and the nice the ship, THE OLDER THE CROWD. No body under the age of 30. There were maybe 10 kids on the entire cruise ship of 3500 people and maybe all of 4% of the ships population was under 60. My father thought he was doing us a favour by getting us onto such a beautiful and prestigious ships….but it is in fact better to go cheap and find a younger ‘hipper’ cruise crowd.

ALSO- do not be swayed by what people tell you about the ship ‘swaying’. You feel it. You feel it like you would feel the elevation changing on a plane. The butterflies of a rollercoaster. And if you don’t come prepared with enough motion sickness medication to last you for the entire cruise, you WILL be hugging the toilet in the miniature bathroom of your stateroom that isn’t even big enough for you to lay on the floor in all your agony and like me, you will be forced to crawl onto the top bunk in your tiny stateroom and count the waves and rolling of the ocean until blessed sleep claims you.

Now don’t count all this as me being ungrateful. I mean who wouldn’t be happy to leave the monotony of every day life to escape to the Caribbean and explore exotic ports of call like St. Maartin and St. Thomas and beautiful Princess Cays. Just don’t expect that if you spend the last 3 days of your cruise hiding out in your stateroom, to come home with a Tan. I have hacked it all up to be an experience; one that I am not likely to repeat any time soon, but an experience, just the same.

On to other news and upcoming attractions- This Monday is Family Day. Note that I did not mention Valentines Day, first because I consider it to be an event of disappointment. You never receive the roses or chocolates or jewellery that you want from your partner..and if you do, it is true without fail that normally the romance itself is lacking. It is a holiday of broken expectations and depression for those who are still ‘unattached’. It is a time when every ship and store window is decked out in red sheer fabric and everything red or pink gets a nice little price hike. Family day, though less superficial is just as much as a fraud. Sure, it doesn’t boast to have a colour or action or feeling to be its’ flag, but it certainly creates an unrealistic expectation of the people of our country. I mean, honestly- it is a government holiday- everyone gets it off- even the unattached, single childless people who will go shopping. Birth rates are down and marriage rates are dropping. So really this whole day is a ploy to boost the economy. Get people out of work and into the malls. Even those who DO have families…what are they going to do- stay home and play board games? No. They will go shopping- if they even DO the quality time thing, which most won’t. Kids don’t want to be coerced into spending time with their parents. But again, even I will be greatful for the downtime. Maybe get caught up on my reading or get into the gym. Maybe the next government ploy will be ‘Dog Day’ with the saying ‘ Let the day go to the dogs’ and everyone will have to walk their pets and play with them and the underlying hope of the holiday is to combat obesity and get people moving. I may just bring it to the House of Commons.

I love Books AKA ...crack.

Ok I have recently decided that I have a problem. A reading problem. Like Crack. I recently started the twilight series....by recently I mean I started reading on December 27th...causally...and anyone who knows this series would know that each book is between 600-700 pages in length. Lets just say exactly 10 days later I have read ALL FOUR books in the series...

Staying up till 1:30 every night just DEVOURING pages and hiding my book in my desk drawer at work to get a page in here and there. I took my book to the gym and would loose all connection to my body for hours at a time because I was so involved in the book. I would be on the bike pedalling like a mother and not even noticing for 40...50...60 or even 70 minutes in a sitting and would repeat it again on the eliptical, the treadmill without even noticing. I would have my book in my lap driving to work...reading during red lights...I know, I am a HAZZARD. Since I was a child I was like this...I would live vicariously through the characters of the book I was reading. I would absorb their emotions, their problems...I wouldn't eat or concentrate on my own life. My mom called me an 'Empath' which means you absorb the feelings and personality traits of the people you are around because you have such a strong need to 'empathize'. I need to stay away from the depressed, angry and dangerous less i become one of them.

Speaking of which, I need to say this....Bella (the main character in Twilight) infuriates me with her weaknesses in New Moon....how she totally depends and devotes all her time and detention on the men in her life. She makes women look pathetic. having to read about her devestating breakup with Edward made me have to relive mine with Roger. The pain the feeling of you inside breaking you apart, the gaping hole in your abdomen....She made me go through it again but at least I didn't cling to another man the way she did, completely obsess about spending my time with someone else to avoid the pain in my chest. I wanted to slap her as badly as I felt FOR her...Like i took a peice of what she was feeling and made it my own. Again.

Anyway. Now i need to get myself back into 'Jamie' mode. And try to overcome the need to find a new series to devour. I need a break to feel like me. It is exhausting being so many people in a day. Wow I sound psychotic. ha ha. All for now, this weekend is comming at me fast and I am torn between two plans....arg. Tired of being torn....until next time loyal blog readers....

Home doesn't have to be where the Heart is...

What do you do when it comes to a point in your life where you have to make a big step....or walk the other way. Recently I have discussed moving in with my current boyfriend. Needless to say i am a little worried about what that means. Coming to a crossroads where you really have to evaluate what you want, where you are going and there isn't an option of staying where you are....you either go forward....or back....to square one.

With all this talk of 'relocating' (which is really all it means to me) comes the big M-word. Marriage.To be perfectly honest, in today's society, the current values aren't bound by a ceremony joining two people. Commonlaw, single parents, homosexual couples are all on the rise and with the trend in marriage being more then a 50% divorce rate, it is becoming even more important to make some long term evaluations before taking the dive.

Moving in with the person you are seeing doesn't mean what it meant 20 years ago. It used to mean a commitment to a confirmed future with that person. A show that you intended to become husband and wife and start that life together. Now with the economy the way it is, the truth of the matter is that it is just TOO difficult to live solitary. Good roomates are hard to find (god don't I know it) and the cost of living is on the rise. Not to mention (and I have many times before in previous blogs) that good friends are hard to find when you are a new graduate searching for a career in different cities then the people you once knew. There just doesn't seem to be the rush anymore to jump into a committed relationship. We live so much longer now and tolerating one person for 70+ years seems to be a daunting task for more then half the population. We are getting smarter and waiting to see if these relationships will work and that we are financially stable before having children.

This is a world where boyfriends become roomates and parents won't be grandparents (having kids so late in life). I was asked- "don't you want to wait to move in until later in your life and have a little picket white fence?" and I answer -No. I want affordable housing with a person I know well enough to tolerate and who can tolerate me and won't mind if I yell if the bills aren't paid and they're not pulling their weight. Someone I can shower with if i am late for work and can call to pick me up and take US home if my car breaks.

We have become very rational utilitarian creatures in the 21st century- all emotions aside. Love is a good emotion. A great one,..but isn't a prerequisite for moving in together anymore. Life is about convenience and what works; finding someone you work well with and not someone you are head over heals passionate about and expect to start popping out babies with in the next 5 years. Not that it isn't great if you find that. This isn't to say I am not in love with my boyfriend, but for me, it is not a factor in whether we start looking for apartments come April.
Maybe I sound a little cold. Maybe it is just the weather. Until next time, loyal blog readers....