I have a confession. I am a coward and did something spineless during one of my last visits to my home town of Bridgenorth. While on the way to my parent’s house, they had asked me to pick up some subs for the family to eat at the cottage. They gave me a detailed list over my cell phone of toppings and breads and sizes, which I repeated out loud for Stuart to hear while we were driving (two heads are always better than one, when taking orders).
When we arrived at the local sub shop of Bridgenorth, we both got out of the car and headed in, Stuart in the lead. I had taken two steps into the store when I noticed ‘OMG my ex boyfriend is standing at the counter ordering a sub!’. I immediately, without thinking, ran for the hills.
When we arrived at the local sub shop of Bridgenorth, we both got out of the car and headed in, Stuart in the lead. I had taken two steps into the store when I noticed ‘OMG my ex boyfriend is standing at the counter ordering a sub!’. I immediately, without thinking, ran for the hills.
I dodged back to the car, keeping my head low- but when I tried the handle IT WAS LOCKED! (and Stuart had the keys). I looked for shelter elsewhere. I considered running into the local convenience store, but didn’t want to risk getting trapped in there if my ex decided to get dessert. I ran (and I mean it- I RAN) to the end of the strip mall and hid around the corner with my back pressed against the wall.
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I knew it was an awful thing I had done. I had stuck Stuart with ordering everyone’s subs with only a secondhand knowledge of what they wanted, never mind sticking him with the bill for everything. But I simply couldn’t stand the thought of being spotted in dirty cottage clothes after a long car trip from Toronto, especially considering how drastically different I look from when he dated me (and not in a good way). So I hid.
I periodically peaked around the corner to see what was happening. When I saw Stuart come out with his bags of subs, looking around for me; I inconspicuously waved my hand. He spotted me and mouthed “what are you doing?” I managed to motion for him to drive the car over to me so I could jump in quickly (with some bizzaro charades display).
Needless to say, he was NOT happy and my excuse seemed terribly juvenile when I said it out loud. Everyone got a sub though- even if there were some discrepancies in orders- and I managed to remain elusive and unseen. Totally worth it!
My nightmare does not end there! It is every womans' worst nightmare to have a stranger insinuate that they are fat. The other day I was riding the elevator with a 'newly hired' coworker; I was carrying a big stack of documents and just minding my own business when this happened...
And of course, being the genius that I am- I immediated tried to diffuse to situation and minimize the awkwardness the best way I knew how...
And my nightmare wouldn't be complete if the very next day I hadn't been trapped in the elevator with her again (just my luck). I decided I would be funny and announce "I'm six months today- hopefully 4 months tomorrow, ha ha". But she just averted her eyes and gave a half-hearted chuckle.
Just kill me. Until next time, loyal blog readers.
2 comments:
Jamie! That is gutless! I would have lost my marbles if I was Stu. I don’t have to tell you that some people lack social finesse because what happened in the elevator was inexcusable! BUT you running for the hills was just as bad! That was Karma for you. Condsider this, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.”- Roosevelt. Ok? Don't do that again (Lays)
I just laughed out loud twice (BIG hearty laughs) in the middle of my clinic reading this. Thank you!
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