A little Perspective and a LOT of Naked

I am an expert at painting naked people.


It’s taken lots of practice and I must admit, I have had my pitfalls. In second year university I took several fine arts courses, one of which was oil painting. We spent the majority of the year painting still life (posed displays of junk- mostly flowers) and once we perfected our brush skills, we moved on to nudes. Nudes every day. We duplicated master-nudes, painted details (small snapshots) of nudes and even had live models come in for days and days to be painted in the buff. Our final project was a large painting of our own subject matter (with the instruction that it must be a nude). Most people chose to paint themselves as a nude (from a photograph that I hope was destroyed after the project). Other people hired models and used rented studio time to complete their paintings. I decided to be original and do something no one else had done. I asked Stuart to let me paint him naked.


(On a side note- if you have ever painted anyone naked, you understand what I mean when I say that nudity becomes meaningless after 3 hours of staring at butts and boobs. People become a sum of parts and you won’t remember why you were giggling at the beginning of class.)


He agreed to be my model and so I set him up in my dorm room. For five days (in 3 hour increments) he reclined in the same position (with some urging and repositioning) on my tiny little dorm room bed.

On the turn-in-day of the project was a ‘class critique’, where fellow students look at your final piece and critique your technique, colour choice, composition, subject matter and inspiration.


It was during this critique that I realized why people don’t paint in their dorm rooms and use the studio instead. My painting had appeared perfectly proportioned mid-process. ‘Surely this was the greatest thing I have ever created’, I thought. Now that I could step back and take a look at it, I recoiled in horror. The perspective was COMPLETELY OFF. I hadn’t had enough space in my closet-of-a-room to step back and check my proportions and perspective. The painting appeared to recede away from the canvas, with Stuarts body far in the background and the point of focus (and the object closest to the viewer) being *gasp* his JUNK!

Unsurprisingly, my critique centred on the visual 'focus' of my painting and my choice of....*gulp* colour variation. I admitted I had mistakenly used an inadequate space with a more than adequate model, (being my boyfriend), whom I named in front of all 25 students without thinking. Granted, he got quite the reception when he met me after class to escort me back to residence. The women seemed particularly pleased to meet him.


Though I have kept much of my art that I created during University, I decidedly threw that painting into the fire during a particularly cold May 24 camping weekend (we were in need of firewood). It popped and sizzled and was consumed by flames torturously slow. By morning, only a single piece of canvas remained in the ashes, perfectly preserved. I don't need to tell you what image remained, except that I felt cursed by the nude-painting-fairy and as a result I was the butt of all jokes for the rest of the weekend.

I'm Back...

I have been a bad blogger. It has been several months since my last post, which is sad because I had been steadily creating 2+ blog entries per month for almost 3 years now. My excuses are limited to a move, a vacation, a new position at work, some holidays and a slightly more active social life. I also got a new tablet for my birthday (called a Bamboo) and I have been experimenting with my art. I will admit, it took me a while to get used to drawing on a tablet, but I think it will be worth it because my pictures are more detailed with a more 'hand drawn' quality. Now I just have to get out of Microsoft Paint and I will be well on my way to being a pro!


So I missed creating a Halloween post- but I did make a little snapshot in honour of the occasion.

In reality, it should have been a Christmas snapshot. So I made some edits-

So instead of writing a mile long entry on all the updates in my life, I will be efficient and keep it in point form:

• The new apartment is working out nicely. All the glitches have been repaired and we have two bedrooms & two beds if anyone needs a place to crash. Photo's coming soon.
• Stuart and I (and my sister and her husband) went to Vegas for vacation at the end of October. It was my first time there and was exactly what I'd hoped it would be. Stuart and I drank Crystal Champagne (at the bar it was $1000+ dollars) offered to us by a woman in a fur vest who pronounced herself a 'porn star'. I don't mean to judge, but if she's a porn star, then I'm Van Gogh with a great tan.

• We did a pub-crawl down the strip and the best part was the partybus that takes you from club to club with the stripper pole in the centre Isle. I'm not going to lie, I tried dancing on it until the bus took a tight corner and I flew off into the lap of a stranger with a terrible beard and disposition.

• I crashed into a parking pillar at work. Yup. I was jet lagged and on autopilot for my first day back to the office and I caused $3000.00 worth of damage to the side of my leased Corolla. I am putting it through insurance because I have accident forgiveness and it shouldn't affect my rates- but I have 4 years left on my lease and I am going to have to baby this car for the rest of it. I swear the damage doesn't even look that bad.
• We put up our Christmas tree the first weekend of November along with all of our decorations. Stuart is always in such a hurry to decorate because he loves Christmas more than anything else. For me, Christmas is ready for a transition. I really want my sister to have a baby to breathe  new life into the holidays.  
• My highschool is getting shut down. PCVS is the beating heart of Peterborough. It brings life into the centre of the city and it certainly was my salvation at a time when I needed nothing more! I had to apply to get into the Arts Program at Peterborough Collegiate and was lucky enough to get accepted for visual, musical and theatric arts. I was stimulated in a way that no other highschool could have competed with. It was like Glee, without being slushied in the hallway. There were no clicks, no judgement and I have no traumatizing highschool memories. It was a group of the most talented, accepting, beautiful people that could have been collected in one spot and I mourn for all the teens that will have to survive without it. Highschool can be a cruel fate and I can't begin to count all the lives that were likely saved inside the walls of PCVS. I will feel its passing like a member of my own family.

• Stuart turned 26 on December 19th. I didn't get him a present because he never got me anything...and he normally gets gyped because his birthday is so close to Christmas. Don't worry, he got a Christmas gift.
• Stuart and I have lost an enormous amount of weight (between the two of us, it is nearly 75 pounds) and we are hoping to get back on track soon, since we obliterated all our healthy eating over Christmas.
• Our tree looked particularly nice this year and we were very spoiled:

Well, loyal blog readers...if you still exist, have a safe and happy holiday/New Years and have a toast (with me) to getting back on track and doing the things that make you happy.

Cheers!~

Birthdays & Boxes & Backwards Apartments!

So the big move has come and gone and I am exhausted. Screw a diet plan- I think I lost 20 pounds of sweat just shuffling boxes and furniture, packing, unpacking and organizing. There is no room for food during a move. I think the busier a person is- it directly correlates to how thin/in shape they are. A sedentary life-style really is the true body-killer.

For the past month I have been on a Doctor-directed (and OHIP covered, thank god) diet plan. So far I have lost about 15-20 pounds and I feel great. I think certain people can hold more weight than others. I am one of the lucky ones that gains weight EVERYWHERE so I can generally get away with carrying an extra 50 pounds that someone who has a smaller frame, can’t. It is a blessing and a curse because I let myself get away with it as well. So now that I have had some weight-aggravated medical conditions, it’s time to get back on the healthy life-style pony and get back to where I am comfortable.

Anyway, enough of my image-woes. The apartment is a two bedroom that has been gutted for our move-in-pleasure. But now that we are on day 3 in the new place, I am noticing some small anomalies that weren’t present in our other apartment (from the same complex).

The light switches are all backwards (up is off and down is on)

One of the light switches turns off the TV (why? I can’t tell you)

The hot water says cold water and the cold water says hot water.
The doors are all hung backwards, so that they don’t close unless you turn the handle.

We have the only apartment without a peep hole.

Essentially, our apartment is completely backwards and upside down. Mind you, these are all livable problems, but are exceedingly annoying.

I am officially 26 years old (as of August 25th). Because my birthday landed right in the middle of a move and a diet, it went uncelebrated, but I don’t mind. I was happy to get the move under my belt. But I won’t say I wasn’t tempted by the idea of cake.

I love cake. I could eat cake all day. Screw this pie business.

Anyway enjoy the long weekend, probably some of the last warm weather of the summer, so get your tanning, swimming and boating in before we pack it in for fall.

Until next time, loyal blog readers!



THREE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT COTTAGING

This summer has been hotter and sunnier than the previous three summers (that's the limit of my memory), and as you can imagine that means lots of cottage weekends. Spending so much time in the rustic outdoors has really made me realize all the reasons I absolutely LOVE being at the cottage. Here are my top three reasons:

1. Enjoying the lovely cottage weather-

2. Being in touch with and close to nature-

3. All the yummy Summer-BBQ-

We recently just went on vacation because, as you know from previous blog entries, they are tearing down our apartment. We must have looked at 20 places in the area, trying to find a suitable replacement. Everything was either too expensive or too inconvenient for getting to work. The result? We ended up moving to another building in the same complex. After all that time and effort- we are crossing the street. The new apartment is similar to the previous one, the difference being that it has two bedrooms instead of one. How can we afford it? Well, it is a ground level apartment with an awkward layout: (click to enlarge)

Note the random door to the bedrooms, floating in the middle of the living room. Also note how there is no 'Master' bedroom. The bigger bedroom has the smaller closet, but the bigger window. The smaller bedroom has the bigger closet and the smaller window. If all the doors are open (livingroom, linen closet, bedrooms & bathroom) they will all crash into each other because they all open out. But we can afford it! Yay!

We move in August 31st (or sooner) because the whole place needs an overhaul. So while buildings and garages are crumbling around us, we will be packing.

 Until next time, loyal blog readers...

The Thought Doesn't Always Count!

On my 17th birthday my 3 best friends surprised me by kidnapping me from my home and taking me to Sand Banks National Park to go camping. It was probably the best birthday I ever had. When my best friend, Meghan turned 17, I felt compelled to do something equally special. I wanted to give her something meaningful. Something I’d poured my heart and soul into and that showed her just how much I cared.

Despite not knowing how to sew, I decided that the most original thing I could do was create a handmade doll as part of her Birthday. I took two things that I knew about her- that she collected porcelain dolls and that she absolutely loved sun flowers- and I mashed them together.

I spent four months slaving over this two foot long sunflower doll that I created from old t-shirts, scraps of fabric and artificial leaves. I worked night and day. I dedicated after school hours to cutting and sewing and stuffing. I must have pricked my fingers 1000 times and I picked up some stitching techniques and knots along the way. Surely this was the greatest thing I had ever created! I swear, blood-sweat-and tears went into this doll and like most artists, I could see NO flaws at ALL with my creation.

I could barely wait to give it to her. On the day of her birthday, I orchestrated an elaborate reveal (where the path to the doll was littered with real sunflowers).

Her reception of the doll was not as warm as I had been expecting, but I chalked it up to her being overwhelmed by the greatness of the doll. She placed the sunflower person on top of her dresser and we went about celebrating the rest of her birthday.

Over the next few weeks I noticed that the doll had mysteriously disappeared. When I posed the question, Meghan told me it was in her closet because she needed the space on her dresser. It wasn't until several years later that I discovered the true reason:

It turns out, Meghan stashed poor Sunflower-Doll in a box in her closet because (I dragged this out of her) its' eyes followed her around the room at night and it was giving her nightmares.

Ten years later and Sunflower-Doll's fate was sealed in a basement flood in the late 90's. Where he is now? Nobody knows. But keep an eye out for glassy doll eyes following you in the dark of night!...

Muah ha ha ha ha....