AVATAR- "Don't play with that, you'll go blind"

So I finally convinced Stuart to go and see AVATAR with me in theatres. It wasn't real hard considering we had free movie passes from Christmas and so it's not exactly like it was out of pocket.

When they first handed me the big dorky brown 3D glasses, I was like "uh, no thanks" but it turns out you need them, less you watch the movie feeling like you are incredibly near sited. I am near sited naturally, and so I had to navigate the 3D glasses over top of my other glasses. Yup, talk about seeing in double or I guess it would be tripple..3D....get it? HA!

In any case, I felt like a Dweeb, but once the movie starts, it is totally forgotten. I have never seen a movie in 3D and it takes a bit of time for your eyes to figure out what they are supposed to be seeing. Like it will be a nano second before you actually see the image pop and sometimes your eyes won't catch it in time and the picture will change.

Apart from that, 3D movie watching is an utterly new and enthralling experience. It takes movie watching to a whole new level. Instead of 2D moving picture book, you feel like you are actually IN the movie, experiencing things along with the characters. You feel the depth of the room and you really see the turn of a head. That could be partially attributing to why I am so blown away by this movie.

I think it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Great character development, a fair share of action and romance and complexity of plot. Add in a pop of colour and some AMAZING computer animation that must have cost a fortune and taken FOREVER to perfect- and you have and you have an unprecedented film experience.
There were parts in the movie that were so overwhelmingly beautiful I felt my eyes well with tears. I never wanted the movie to end. I wanted to stay a part of the mystical world of Pandora forever and bear my own little Na'Vi children. I honestly think I will go see it in theatres again. I need another dose of the mind blowing colour and new age animation. This movie makes you look back at films like Independence day and laugh at the juvenile 'alien' effects.

Now I have read my fair share of 'nay saying' reviews...People that say the movie is an old plot line with unimaginative alien characteristics. A new age Pocahontas with a predictable outcome. And there is plenty of criticism saying the Na'Vi display many racial queues of modern day humanity and that it is unlikely that a fully natural alien race would no how to kiss or practice monogamy. They say the movie is too left wing (casting negative light on human military and money hungry business men and putting nature loving Scientists on a pedestal).

I say, that despite the above critiques, the movie is a beautiful representation of what James Cameron probably thought was a 'pure race'. Honouring nature, taking one lover, living from the land in an unobtrusive way and being open to new knowledge (as we know they opened a school in Pandora to teach the natives English).

There is only one question I still have after seeing this PG 13 film. How do they have Sex? There is only one suggestion in the movie about how this takes place. Jake is playing with his magic braid/tail in the beginning of movie and Sigourney Weaver (Dr. Grace) walks by and says "Don't play with that or you'll go blind". And it is commonly known that human little boys are told that to discourage them from playing with their.......tails....

I am going to buy the movie because there is a rumour circulating that the sex scene, cut from the theatrical release- will be on there....in a nice PG13 fashion of course! Anyway, I loved it. So I had to do a quick review. GO SEE IT! You WON'T be disappointed. Even my skeptical, Sci-Fi hating boyfriend enjoyed it!

When it Rains, it Pours!

Bad things happen to me in threes! Then one good thing will happen and then THREE more bad things follow.....PROOF:

1. My credit card got entered into an Internet Scam and now the CC company thinks I owe them $70.00 which is collecting interest and I have to take time out of my life to write a letter and gather evidence to get rid of the charges.

2. I spilled a cup of water on my alarm clock and it stopped working. I love it because it was an ipod dock with dual alarm features too...

3. I put a rental truck on my Credit Card for work and we ended up not needing it!

Good thing: When I took my alarm clock in for warranty repairs, they had a black one just sitting there and said I could just take it!

1. When I got the alarm clock back to the house and set it up...it isn't exactly the same radio....it doesn't work with my ipod and the face plates aren't the same colours as my last one :(

2. My car started making a grinding noise so I took it to Can Tire for service and it turns out I needed all new brakes all around, new routers, new callipers......$600.00 later....

3. I had the worst day ever at work....no details needed! Stu is unemployed and we are having money trouble during Christmas.....while having for fork out cash for my stupid shitbox of a car...

Good thing: Stu liked his coat I got him for his birthday and I was so worried he wouldn't like it. I also feel I had a successful Christmas shopping season...good gifts all around...

1. At Stuart's B-day party I had a bad bout of drinking and became drama girl & I broke my glasses- nough said. Ok....well, worst hang over of my life too...lol

2. Nothing fits me right now....everyone wants to wear pretty Christmas outfits this time of year but it is hard when you are stretching your wardrobe....literally.

3. Still waiting on the third. I will keep you posted......
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Ok and the chronicles continue.....Number 3..... A BIIIGGG number THREE is that my car broke down. My year of car has a glitch in the passlock system where the fuel injection is disabled because it thinks it is being stollen. So my ignition cyllinder needs replacing.

Good thing: I got my christmas bonus! Yay!!!!

Readers Digest.....or Digested by Readers.

I ate my advent Calandar. The whole thing. I couldn't help it...

Every year I wish I had started my Christmas shopping earlier…I think if I could just dedicate some time to clicking around on E-bay I could get everyone what they wanted and have it shipped right to my door step. As it is, you have to leave yourself at least two months to allow for shipping and complications. This year I am only just starting to shop now, in mid December, just like last year and the year before. This is when prices are highest and stock and choices are lowest. So despite the shipping dilemma, I still did the majority of my purchases online. They are local stores with a 2-3 day shipping promise, so my fingers are crossed. I mean, who has time to honestly navigate through the crowds and parking lots when they have jobs and gym requirements and social obligations.

So I have been reading a lot of books in the past 6 months. I found a way to integrate reading into my workouts. I have figured out how to read and jog at the same time without tripping over my feet. Here is the list of some of the books I have read post Twilight Saga in the past 6 months (in no real order):

Sophie Kinsella- Remember me?
Patrick Ness- The knife of Never Letting Go
PC Cast- House of Night (series)> Marked, Betrayed, Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted…(to be continued)
Charlaine Harris- Sookie Stackhouse (series)> Dead Until Dark, Living Dead in Dallas, Club Dead, Dead to the World, Dead as a Doornail, Definitely Dead, All Together Dead, From Dead to Worse, Dead and Gone, A Touch of Dead (…to be continued)
Cassandra Clare-The Mortal Instruments Trilogy>City of Ashes, City of Glass, City of Bones
Libba Bray- Gemma Doyle Trilogy>A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, The Sweet Far Thing
Scott Sigler- Infected, Contagious
Richelle Mead- Vampire Academy (series)> Vampire Academy, Frostbite, Shadow kiss, Blood Promise…(to be continued)
Kathy Reiches- Devil Bones
Richard Matheson- I am Legend
Jodi Picoult- My Sister’s Keeper
L J Smith- Dark Visions
Joy Fielding- Heartstopper
Sherilyn Kenyon- Acheron
Cormac McCarthy- The Road

That is 37 books and I know for a fact that I missed a bunch, because I either lent them out and can’t remember their names to ask for them back (ie. they are never to be seen again), or I left them at the gym or managed to ruin them while reading in the bath. Yes I do that. With wet fingers. I am a book ruiner. My books always look like they have weathered a damn storm. In fact it annoys me when people keeps their books looking so pristine…with stiff spines and crispy pages. Books should be loved and abused. Stuffed into knapsacks and left open on the nightstand to the page you left off on. So I am averaging a little over 6-7 books a month (if I count the ones I can’t remember). Which is a little less then 2 books a week. That sounds about right. I don’t exactly relish the fact that I read at super-speed. It costs me a lot of money and gives me a short attention span. It means I finish a book and then right away I need something different to read and consume. It is sort of like a fire…it spreads and consumes every book in my line of vision.

Anyway, I thought since I am so well read, I might as well review a couple of them. Then I decided I don’t have the patience for that…so I will drop a couple lines, but nothing worth publishing. I like reading what is classified as ‘teen fiction’ because the characters are easy to understand and rarely deal with the politics of adult fiction. Just the fun stuff, like drama, flirting, polygamy, danger and other teenage anx.

So if you liked twilight, then I’d recommend the House of Night Series- which consequentially was ripped off by Rachelle Mead’s Vampire Academy. They both essentially are about a vampire finishing school. There are good and bad vampires…the similarities between these books are remarkable. In fact, I don’t know how there isn’t a lawsuit somewhere between these two Authors. The bad guys are both dead ‘red’ vampires. The young good vampires control and harness the power of the elements. The main female vampire in both series controls ‘spirit’; a rare and powerful element. They both have a friend that is intuitive to them. One sees visions, one feels emotions. They both play the Field and have more then one boyfriend. The bottom line is, they are both good, but the storyline copying will DEFINITELY frustrate you.

Ok, now to get away from the childish junkfood reading. I recently read Cormac McCarthy's book- The Road, which has also been made into a Movie that just came out. So lucky for you, I will give you a quick review of both. The book was a dark enthralling read. It was like seeing a storyline in a poem. It is essentially the journey of a father and son in a post apocalyptic world. You never learn the source of the Apocalypse or the names of the father and son. But you learn them through their experiences, their reactions to danger and the struggle that ensues to find food and safe shelter. Needless to say, i found myself weeping while riding the bike in the gym. I finished the book in 1.5 days and it seems people has watched me because the moment I closed the book, the white haired lady beside me on the bike says "sooooo......what did you think?"
I was in such shock, still wiping the tears away I said "huh?...sorry, what?" and then she proceeded to tell me she had just finished the book and had the same reaction I was obviously having. "I wanted to see the movie" she said, "but i figured I couldn't eat popcorn or drink a big fat coke because I would be riddled with guilt..."

It's true. After reading it, I was suspicious of every person that passed me in the street and was able to appreciate the clothes on my back and the warm bed I got to climb into every night. At least for a week....

Thinking maybe I will take a break on the book reading for a while. Maybe watch more movies. I really want to see Avatar. Opens Friday......anyone wanna see it with me?
Ok, all for now, loyal blog readers.....

SEX and CANDY- Clean it up with Magic Eraser!

So the everything to do with Sex show at the exhibition place was interesting. Apart from the naked women walking around in ropes and nipple tassels and the women that were nude but painted to look like they were wearing clothes, it was fairly tame.

We walked around between the many isles of naughty clothing and movies and toys. We got a cupcake from a massage booth and bought a Christmas ornament to support women's cancers. (Speaking of which, my sympathies to my dear friend who just lost her mother to such a cancer). We watched some amature (fully clothed) pole dancing and then listened to girls imitate the best orgasmic experience they could. We picked up lots of reading material....not exactly coffee table top worthy, but interesting for sure! There are whole magazines out there with personal ads. Couples looking to swing, men looking to watch, women looking to join. I mean what happened to good old fashioned...sex. When did it get so complicated?

I mean, I am fairly liberal- but even I felt compelled to blush. Have you ever been on Craigslist or Kijiji and glance over the 'personals'? I mean a magazine is one thing, but you can actually post a 'looking for' ad for ....relations. On kijiji. It seems a little desperate to me. Aren't there other venues for that? I mean you can seach for a crib and toys in the same place you can look for a fellow cross dresser. Don't they say that you should never shop in a place where you can buy a wrench and a watermelon in one stop? Anyway- this is a family blog, so enough of that. And by family- I mean, I have my mother on facebook and I think she reads it. Ha ha.

So I have this theory that the magic eraser will whiten teeth. My parents recently came over to see my apartment for the first time and I managed to remove (god knows how many) years of stain off of the old white linoleum counter. I am talking burn marks, coffee stains, wine spills...you name it. All gone....back to perfectly white. This wasn't the expensive Mr. Clean brand either! It was the KNOCK OFF! When I get home tonight I am going to dampen it and then go to town on the pearly whites and see what comes off on this magic sponge...

Congratulations are due for my sister who finally said 'YES' to the Dress. I think dress shopping is a lot like playing the field or dating around. You see what is out there, you try a few things out. Spend a lot of time weighing the pros and cons of this one and that one, but when you find one that works- you have to STOP LOOKING!!! There is always going to be a better looking dress. One that fits you better. One that makes you feel better about yourself, but like your love life, you have to know when you are done shopping around and commit to it or you will drive yourself crazy.

The Cure for Road Rage

Thought of the Day-

Air fresheners have really come a long way. I mean, do you remember the days of bathroom air fresheners when they were loud and obnoxious…or just plain noxious. Where instead of eliminating an odour they would just mix with it to create some new perfume, repugnant to the nose. I swear, I can take my late morning….cr*cough* and then spray the new fabrese air effects afterwards and it is completely silent. No “SHHHHHPPPPSSSHHHHH” sound to give the bowel movement away and no harsh after-smell that tells everyone where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. And most importantly, when your boss walks into the bathroom immediately after you, there is no worry about whether or not he’ll know.

Yesterday was the first snow of winter ’09 and I didn’t welcome it wistfully. It froze my windshield wipers to my windshield and made any black water on the road look ominous. Really, not a fan.

Stuart however is a whole other animal. All he can think and talk about is Christmas and skiing. He loves Christmas. I expect to walk through the door one day (and I am talking November here) and our apartment will be a winter wonderland, complete with Christmas tree(s), tacky Santas, Christmas lights on every surface and wreaths and holly everywhere. Not to mention the overplayed jingles playing in every room.

I will do what I can to reign him in and at least keep it tasteful. No plastic Santas on the door and no stuffed reindeer. As for the Christmas tree- an expense that is NOT in the budget- I need to limit it to between 4-5 feet. If Stuart had his way it would be curved along the ceiling with every branch encumbered with a sparkly bobble.

I have figured out the cure for road rage. Believe it or not, it is as simple as a wave. I have found (being involved in crazy Toronto Traffic for over 6 months now) that being cut off and butted in front of by vehicles (mostly BMW’s but that is a whole other rant), that when I am entirely enraged and want to get even, all of these negative emotions are negated by a simple hand wave to the rear view mirror. It’s true, when someone merges into your lane and purposely speeds up just to get in front of you and your first instinct is to honk, you are immediately quieted by a simple black outline of a raised hand. I have adopted this technique and I find I get honked at less and am let into a lane more often simply by waving my thanks and my acknowledgement of the fact that I am being a dick.

After all this time, I am surprised by how many drivers do NOT do this. Seriously! If you have to cut me off, at least acknowledge to me that you did it, so I don’t plan your demise for the next 100 meters.