To Be or Not to be.....a bad friend.

Another Christmas come and gone and I came away with a grill, slippers and Nintendo DS. I was not disapointed. Alternately my gifts weren't as great considering some were given in spite....for instance i gave my brother in law 2 recycle bins because I had ran over his previous ones with my car and smashed them to pieces. Another....I gave my sister Aqua Globes....She saw them on the shopping channel and while I was awed by their pure ingenious quality- she called them tacky and ugly and said she wouldn't be caught dead with them in her plants. Needless to say she now has one sitting in her plant in the kitchen. I have reined victorious.
Ok maybe not quite. On my way to Christmas eve at the grandparents I managed to hit a pool of water that was concealed by the heavy rain and fog. I hydroplaned and spun in maaannnyy circles while trying to avoid hitting the other cars, going off the road and keeping my car on at least two tires. I stalled it in the middle of the 115 and while the panic set in and I stared at the oncomming traffic, I managed a single task. I called my dad.
He was not pleased. I had left my car stalled in the middle of the 3 lane highway while I shook and cried into the phone. People were yelling at me to move my car, but in my stunned shock (I have never once been in any car accident apart from backing into a rock....and a garbage bin.....and two recycling bins) it never occurred to my to turn my car off and back on. Once that was all said and done I set back out on a shaky drive to Granny's house. makeup and night ruined, lets just say I wasn't in much of a mood for making merry.
The good thing that came out of my drive home was that I got have the reunion with my best friends from highschool and play catchup. It ran overtime because we were all so enthralled with the new baby and flashing diamond rings and relationships that looked promising. All in all, the whole experience made me realize that I have been a bad friend. Being a bad friend is so much easier then being a good one that it is often the road that most people take. it is so much easier to wait for them to call YOU and make an effort to see YOU and update YOU and for them to take the torch for keeping in contact. Word of advice....if someone else is always holding the torch, it will almost always be thrown down at some point when their arm becomes tired and they get frustrated with your lack of effort.
During my early years of university, and even just prior to university I was entirely too self involved. I wasn't trying to stay in contact with my friends because i expected them to try and stay in contact with me, like I was invaluable. NO ONE is invaluable. I was too caught up in partying and boys and being good looking (or trying) and meeting new people....that I left my trusty old friends behind. I have said this before that there is a song called sunscreen that really left an impression on me and the line from it is "Hold on to the people you knew when you were young. The older you get, the more you will need them to remember who you were". When you finally learn this lesson it is usually too late. You feel alone and your cell phone contact list is wearing thin and you can't think of anybody to call to come over and just watch a stupid movie with you....the only people you can think of would only accompany you to a bar and only if they were in the area and going there anyway. Being a bad friend in a choice. A lazy choice.

Don't let people leave you behind or else you'll be left with a pile of torches nobody will be willing to hold.

Mall, Road and General RAGE

I imagine that the most disgusting thing I could endure would be sitting in a smelly bathroom. Think about it- You are sitting in the remnants of someone elses shit. They took a crap before you and now you are breathing in their poo particled. I hate public washrooms. But during the christmas season, we are all spending extended periods of time in the mall, shopping. You might think a womans washroom would be cleaner then the mens, but that is NOT the case. Men can stand. So imagine how many MORE asses have hit those toilet seats in the womens...how many infectious bottoms. There is always urine or mysterious blood stains and crap on the toilet seats. Us germ concious people try to fake out the crowds and go to the farthest possible stall in hopes it might be in some sort of order. it never really is...it might not have those fleshy leftover peices of toilet paper left in them, but they are still far from clean.

If you have never been a victim of road rage, I would like to advise you to refrain from using you middle finger. It brings nothing but negative responses. Christmas and holiday drivers are psychotic. They think that where they're going and what they're doing is a million times more important then whatever it is you might be doing. Recently I was travelling down Woodbine avenue and pulled out of my office road to go to the bank. Now I will firstly establish that I am NOT like many women drivers...i do NOT drive slow or fail to check my blind spots or refuse to lane change if blocking traffic. I am a fairly considerate driver. So on this unlucky day I pulled out into my lane and sped up fast to go with the flow of traffic and there was this HUGE Cube truck behind me which I feel I gave adequate room for him to not slow down....instead he spead UP and got right on my tail and honked his horn while riding my ass. Finally he swerved to the lane on my left and stayed there...and me being scared of this HUGE intimidating TUBCO (they sell hottubs) truck honking and squishing me- i of course gave him the finger and told him to fuck off in hopes he might do just that. He didn't. Instead he started swerving into my lane- Totally cutting my off and trying to run me off the road...where I would have almost possitively hit a pole if I hadn't slammed on my braked until I skidded to a stop. Needless to say, i called the company and complained...threatened legal action......Word to the wise for all meatheads...if you want to road rage, how about you ensure the name os the company you work for isn't plastered all over the side of your vehicle.

On a lighter note- I want to congratulate my best friends from Highschool, Sarah who just got married and Ashley who just had her first baby over a week ago. i couldn't be more proud of them (not to mention a little jealous). I would love to be where they are, but maybe in 5....10 years....ok maybe never.....but that doesn't mean it is great for them. I am probably just not the Marrying,...motherly....spousal type. But who knows right? Anyway,....all for now. Enjoy the holidays everyone.

Too close to home

In highschool I had a core group of friends and we called ourselves GDHP each word symbolizing an aspect of our personalities. Growth, Director, Healer and Princess. I think we were so different and we complimented each others personality really nicely. Sadly we went to different Universities and lost contact. Now facebook brought us back together and I can follow 'D' through her marriage, 'G' through her pregnancy, and 'H' through her acedemic endeavors. There is a song that talks about wearing suncreen and the guy goes on to give advice about life and says that the older you get the more you will need the people you knew when you were young. I think this is so true. You never really learn to value the people that come and go until you have so few.

I will be getting my own place soon and I imagine it being a comfortable place to have people over to relax and play poker and watch movies....Christmas comes first I guess. Mom and my sister want to go on a carribean cruise for christmas...it is a break in traditiion for sure, but it might be fun to do something different. I have a hard time believing that an experience is better then material goods. Maybe because my memory is so bad I only remember pieces of my life that were really good. So is it better to give something that somone can hold in their hands? something tangible? Or is it better to give people experience that can be remembered....or forgotten. I will think about it and get back to you.

The mystery of Human relationships.

I sorta abandoned my blog for a while. I got some negative feedback and it made me consider deleting it but I decided that it wouldn't be in my best interests because there are so many things I want to share and delve into (insightfully) that deleting my only outlet (currently) would be bad. So the update is that I am puppy sitting this weekend. Hanna was just fixed and so she needs to be monitored so that she doesn't bite out her stitches. I took her with me to get my dinner yesterday and walked her through this sketchy little strip mall by the house to pick up my order. Literally in and out and some old lady working at some totally random hotdog and hamburger crap stand started yelling at me for bringing her in, even though I was no where near any food places and wasn't sitting in to eat or anything....in and out with my order. I can't leave her alone in the car because she is a destroyer and last time I did that she ruined my sunglasses and a pair of pants and the interior of my car. Anyway I was in no mood to heed this old German yelling lady so I just ignored her"you can't bring that animal in here you know,...HEY, no dogs in here, you hear!? " whatever. Not to mention the weirdo homeless look-a-like who asked to pet her....some huge kid in a dirty hoodie and looked hocked up on something. He asked her name and I told him Hanna and he was like "I always find it funny when people give their dogs human names..." shut up you psycho. What constitutes a human name!? He was probably named cody or something and I would tell him that is the name of a hound. Jerk. lol.
I like to bring attention to the random things that happen and that I hear. I was at work and my coworker and I were watching this man on the front lawn with this HUGE pole with a little basket on the end of it...scraping the fungus off the trees and laying it gently on the ground only to put it in his truck after he had collected enough mushroomy things. We thought he might of been working for the government and was testing the trees for contamination or something but he was in a civilian vehicle. So finally we had enough and I asked my coworker to ask him was he was doing....apparently he was collecting this 'elf ear' muchrooms to eat...said they were good eatin if you cooked em properly. lol No thanks. You can have your tree fungus.
Did you hear about the guy that is trying to get out of paying child support because he said he played no part (willing) in the making of the kid and woke up after his girlfriend had been screwing him in his sleep. I dunno- if you ask me, I think the act of ejaculation requires some sort of mental awareness. They say sex is 50% in your mind...so who knows.
In closing. I have been baffled my entire life about how human relationships are created and nurtured and never quite got it. I realize now that I have been giving them too much credit. Relationships are made stronger over such silly things- relating over a book you liked...laughing at a movie together. These little events build foundations of relationships....not just romantic ones, but family relationships. My family and I came closer over a book we passed around between us and discussed it..... I think I am bitter that it was so easy ....how long it lasts, I don't know....but I feel like I wasted a lot of time on the excuse of not knowing how.....

Only White People are Carnies.

So the Markham Fair came and went this weekend. My parents came up and we all went together, me my sister and my parents..one big happy family Reunion surrounded by corn dogs, inflatable unicorns, candy apples and cotton candy....Why go to the fair if you aren't going to eat like crap and buy knock off items from sketchy vendors that tell you that they are giving you a discount because you have a pretty smile. I swear Markham is FULL of asians but I didn't see a single one! It was ALL white people....mostly with beirds.
I am struggling with this Blog thing because it keeps dawning on me that people actually read it (I thought it would just float in cyber space as a secret online diary). So I have all these urges to gossip and say nasty things that I have learned about people....but I have to filter myself on here. So I will talk about a situation and not use any names....ha ha.
If you're a dude and some gorgeous bikini model blonde comes up to you in a class and asks for your notes and so you go with her to the library to help her copy them and during the walk she says "wow you're really smart, would you mind if we got together on some weekend in the library and studied together?" then she proceeds to ask him for his facebook so she can add him. This guy has a girlfriend. He never goes on facebook. He adds this girl and then deletes the newsfeed so his girlfriend won't see. What does that mean? So this guys girlfriend, shows the pictures of this girl to her sister who then says "nip that in the bud, ASAP you need to get rid of that girl, she is definately danger signals all over the place". Is it innocent or is it Danger? He never sees their girlfriend because they are in a long distance relationship. Ok I am sick of talking about this.
Thanksgiving is comming and I need to find some things to be thankful for. I'll get back to you on that.