Moving UP and ONWARD...

Here are my thoughts for the day-

If the rumour goes that 'woman drivers are bad drivers' (and lets just break this down for a second)- bad drivers meaning being reckless, unaware and causing accidents- then why is it that male drivers have higher insurance rates? Insurance rates that are high indicate a high risk group or individual. Male drivers between the ages of 16-25 have the highest insurance rates of any other group. So does that mean *gasp* that the rumour is misguided? Or are young drivers (teens) an entirely different phenomenon all together?

Or from a different angle- what about elderly drivers? They are a high risk group right? So is an elderly woman driver worse off then an elderly male driver? The stats wouldn't support this. Men lose it sooner then women- more prone to Alzheimer's and sight problems AND they die sooner... But maybe elderly women just drive MORE because of the shopping. We all know the grannies love to shop and maybe this skewers the stats.

And Asian drivers? They have a brutal driving reputation. It could be that the immigrants are used to driving on the other side of the road. Sorta like the British... So would the elderly female Asian driver be the absolute worst possible driver? Then how come I have never seen one on the show 'Canada's worst Driver'? Maybe they have heard the rumours too and so they are more cautious because of it. Whatever.So Stuart and I have finally taken the dive and signed a lease. We wanted to be well educated on the housing Market in North York and so we did alot of research...we must have seen 30 or more properties and the final verdict? We were more confused by the end of it than if we had just nabbed the first place we saw.

Note to those of you who are looking for a new home- keep it under ten and choose amongst them. The more you see, the more options you see you could have and then your expectations go up and then you can't find a single property with everything you are looking for. Believe me. In the end, we settled. We saw so many beautiful basement apartments that were big, all inclusive, but then they didn't have great access to the TTC and then we saw alot of small places with a subway on the doorstep and not enough living place. AND THEN we saw a few apartments that were expensive but would be our own place and not living under some random. So the compromise? We got the apartment that is expensive- a little too small- with moderate access to TTC and makes our travel time about half an hour a piece.

Already we have a bit of 'buyer's remorse' (even though we're renting) thinking we should have gone with this place or that for one reason or another. But whats done is done. Now comes the issue of moving in. Not quite old enough to rent a moving truck and in an awkward enough place that no one is available to help move us. The solution? One piece of furniture at a time. Every day after work, I will pack up my little Grand Am and drive back to my new home. Tedious, but efficient.

Whether this move will be the best for us is yet to be seen. Needless to say, there is a Claus in our lease that we can walk for $500.00. Hopefully we don't need it.

My birthday is coming up fast and i can't help but feel the best years are behind me and I have entered into the era of bills, rent and insurance payments. My sister is getting married next summer and I have the extra pressure of getting into 'picture posing' shape for it. I never want to get married. Weddings seem too stressful to plan and too expensive for one day. I was never the dreamy little girl that pictured myself in a big puffy sleeved wedding gown and my barbies never got married. They were promiscuous and had many partners and popped out babies right left and centre. We never knew who the father was (one of the three kens) and so the community raised the babies.

Last thought for the day-

Why are we still born with light eyes? The sun has been around since our species have been around and light eyes just don't make sense. Sun refracts around the periphery of light eyes and hurts. We have to squint and wear sunglasses and even then, our eyes sting in the sun. We should all be born with dark skin and shit-brown eyes.

NOT the other woman.

I thought the days of being all consumed by your romantic relationship were left behind in high school dust and yet I find I am encountering it now more then ever. You remember that person who was your best friend in school, the person you always called to talk to and spent most of your spare time with- when all of a sudden they got a boyfriend or girlfriend and dropped you like an old hat. Or better yet, the friend of the opposite sex who gets a boyfriend or girlfriend and suddenly is uncharacteristically sheepish about calling and talking to you, who un-tags themselves in pictures with their arm around you like you are some skeleton they are trying to sweep out of their closet or an ex girlfriend they are trying to forget.

What is the motivation behind this? Boyfriends and girlfriends are always threatened by other close relationships to their partner- opposite sex or not, the idea that there is a connection between you both that maybe they can’t achieve or needs that they can’t attend to, is the main source for all of this awkwardness.

Personally I have had more then a few close guy friends that get girlfriends and then stop talking to me. Whether it is because their girlfriend feels threatened by our friendship or the guy just wants to avoid explaining who I am and why their girlfriend should have ‘nothing to worry about’. I hate losing friends this way. It is that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you call this old friend and are excited about talking to them and when they pick up, you can hear their partner in the background say “who is that?” and you hear your friend hesitate, then say your name only to hear the disapproving groan of a response in the background. It is the feeling of knowing you aren’t allowed to be friends with that person anymore and it makes you want to tell them that their boyfriend/Girlfriend is no good for them if they won’t let them talk to their friends, but you know that will only give their partner a real reason not to like you. You can’t win. You have to bow out and hope they break up so you can re-establish a friendship with that person.

Now that I am older, I can’t afford to be loosing friends over such trivial matters. I am not going to be a home wrecker. I am not going to pursue your man. I just want his friendship. Please don’t have a personal vendetta against me because maybe I dated your boyfriend 10-15 years ago when I was a kid.

GAH! Can’t we all just get along…

If today was your last day...

It's a depressing thought that you will never be as young as you are right now. Your cells will never stretch as well, recover as well- you will never have less wrinkles then you do right now. You know that song,..I think it is by nickelback- if today was your last day and tomorrow was too late ...etcetera. And it goes on to talk about forgiving your enemies and giving away all your money. So I challenge you all to really take a minute to reflect on that. What WOULD you leave behind and what would you do if you were gone tomorrow. What lasting impression would I leave?

Well, I created my school mascot. The chemong Dragons are dragons because I created it....my copyrighted image is all over the school. But would anyone ever really remember that it was me that created it? If I walked through the halls today, 10 years from the time I drew it-would people point and say- there is the girl that created our dragon-esque legacy. Probably not.

I haven't written or published anything great, though I have been informally writing my autobiography since I was 12, even though the life of a preteen isn't that interesting and no one would read it. In truth, I would leave behind a couple diaries packed with ticket stubs and the half witted dreams of a girl with too much imagination....and this blog. Of course it is packed with witty banter but isn't worth much. I imagine there would be some art left behind. Sketches of the super heroes that never came to be and self portraits that couldn't be less flattering. Maybe a few nudes here and there- though there have been witnesses to my burning some of my paintings at a bonfire when we ran out of firewood and I ingeniously pulled the canvasses from my trunk for more fuel.

I guess some things only have the value that we percieve them to have- for instance a wooden frame and canvas with a nude of my boyfriend would be more valuable in the fire creating warmth then on the wall inspiring lust....not that it would....lol Sorry Stu.

This weekend I spent some time reflecting with some girlfriends about how fast life goes when you are finally ready for it to slow down. But I guess that is the way it is with life- you want the opposite of what you have- if it's straight you want curly if you are old you wish you were young, if you are fat you want to be thin, and when you are finally coming into yourself and want your twenties to stop speeding by- they seem to do just that.

I am going to think about what I want to leave behind. Perhaps a new league of women super girls, or children's picture books, a tortured 'too long' monologue about my life or a painting....beautiful paintings that are what I want to paint....unicorns and such ha ha. All for now, loyal blog readers...

I need a place to live. I need to get out of my sister's house and into a dirty little low income starter apartment to call my own. Here is an unrealisitic list of things I would like to have in this sketchy apartment:


-big bathroom with tub and counter space

-lots of natural light and big windows

-open concept setup...minimal walls

-parking

-some vegitation (trees or a walking path- anything other then the cold concrete of the city.

- a gym within walking or (small) driving distance

-no fear of getting shot

- public places with free parking

-no 3 lane roads outside my front door.


I don't think it is unreasonable to get at least some..or most of that. But housing is NOT affordable and the closer you get to the Toronto core, the less you get, but for more money. Driving makes me anxious in the city and so i would prefer to be as far from toronto downtown...or uptown- as possible....but I guess when you are moving WITH someone, you have to compromise. We will see though who gets the short end of THAT compromise.

Congrats are in Order!

My sister finally got what she's been waiting for. It's been 10 years and she got the proposal of her dreams, the ring of her dreams and hopefully the man of her dreams. On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air.On another note, it is yet to be seen who will be the maid of honour and the best man in this wedding. My sister has dropped little hints about wanting a 'hot' wedding party...meaning- "Jamie get your ass to the gym or you won't be my maid of honour". No DOUBT that is why it is still up in the air. All this talk of weddings and futures it really gets you thinkin.
All these landmark events have been happening- sister is engaged, sister just turned 30 and got a house and a puppy....ok wait,...so maybe my sister has been through landmarks...But I will be getting my own place soon. I have my first semi-real job and am starting to get comfortable with my age and in my own skin.

I recently had a conversation with one of my close girlfriends about the ticking of the internal clock; when you start to feel it and how it affects your choices.
For instance, in my late teens, I couldn't get enough attention from men, I strung along as many as I could at one time, 2 boyfriends- you name it.I didn't care about what I was going to do after highschool or after university, i just expected it all to fall into place.
As you get older, you smile more at commercials with babies in them. You find yourself analyzing the real estate market and looking for deals and cracks in foundation. Instead of thinking whether or not you simply get along with your partner, you start measuring them up as a husband or wife. Their ability to provide for a family. Would he make a good father? Would she run a tight household? Tick tick tick...
I don't care how loud the ticking gets. I refuse to let myself feel rushed. I am going to take my sweet as time to make such HUGE decisions about having kids, getting married, buying furniture and such...

It's time for my NEWS update.

I feel like I can finally say to my children that "I was there when they found the source of the cure for all the worlds diseases". Just recently a lab in Toronto reported that they had a breakthrough in stem cell research. They found that they inject a normal cell with something ...scientific and they can convert it to a stem cell of their choice.,..for skin, the spine, brain etc....Stem cells regenerate and so there you go...cure for cancer and those who are paralyzed. Not only that, but they found that they can convert ADULT cells into these stem cells. That means, no more steeling from embryos. I feel like the beginning of the movie "I am legend" taking what I hear at face value and realizing that everyone is going to want to volunteer for human trials without enough R&D and we will all turn into zombies or something. Or it could just kill us. Either way, every great discovery needs casualties. I just won't be volunteering any time soon or getting any 'shots' to prevent cancer. *Shudder*. I am a little over-obsessed with zombies and diseases that will bring the apocolypse and end our existance as we know it...it will be in MY lifetime. I am convinced!

And there ya go! My clock just wound itself backwards. Cheers, loyal blog readers.