Wave at the Heat Wave!

‘Record breaking heat wave’ was the headline for this morning’s newscast. I refuse to let myself complain because for as long as I can remember, May 2-4 was always rainy, cold, buggy and miserable.

This weekend was beautiful. Saturday and Sunday had overcast moments, but Monday was unreal. I am completely sunburned all over my body and loving it! As a surprise, my parents bought a brand new Yamaha Wave Runner for our family. It was an absolute blast. It runs fairly quiet and has enough power to tow us around the lake on tubes and anything else we can find. We attempted using a foam block and a blow up raft (but they both failed miserably).
On top of that, everyone bought fireworks and together we created a professional-grade display. It went on for a couple of minutes and was outstanding in a perfectly black sky, with no light pollution to stunt the show. Unfortunately there was no one on the lake to show it off to, except a couple of canoeists camping on an island, but I somehow think they weren’t overly appreciative of our late night antics.

We stayed up to the early morning, just the six of us around the bonfire, roasting giant marshmallows and listening to the radio while draining the car battery. These are the things you resort to when you only have propane power at the cottage. There was lots of food, a fully stocked bar and even some specialty tequila to spice up the evening…and the morning.
I finally started writing my book.

I only have four or five pages, but it’s a start. It is amazing when you finally start doing something you have been dreaming about doing, it sort of sucks the fun right out of it.

For my sisters wedding I am required to get a spray tan,....and in my experience: So for the nex four weeks it is tanning, eating right, teeth whitening and crunches....maybe. Until next time loyal blog readers....if there are any.

What a Beautiful Fever you Have...

The problem when you have a fever is that you look unusually healthy. There is a slight flush to your cheeks, your eyes go extra bright, and you skin has an uncommon luminescence (which is actually just a sheer coating of sweat all over your body). So try telling your new job that you are so ill, you have to leave for the second half of the afternoon, when they have already complimented your appearance. Yup, just my luck! Three days into the new job I am struck with the flue. Like a freight train running clear through my day. Fever, achy eyes and head, sore throat, chills, cough, nasal congestion. And I didn’t even read those off of a bottle of flu meds. So Monday through Wednesday, I fought through my delirium. Feverishly I greeted patients and answered phones, while having an out of body experience ha ha.

By the third day, when the cough turned ugly and doctors and patients were giving me the wary eye and using extra hand sanitizer, I realized I wasn’t doing anyone any favours by sticking around. So off to bed I went. And of course when you get up in the morning and you would give anything to be able to sleep for a couple more hours- when you get a half day to be sick FOR THE PURPOSE of sleeping, you can’t make yourself fall asleep. It took me until almost 9pm before finally drifting off to a fitful slumber. Last night instead of counting on my own internal clock to take me to dreamland, I relied on my good ole friend ‘Nyquil cold and flu’ and Tylenol Cold-Nighttime. I had no trouble falling asleep. The trouble was trying to stay awake to catch the end of Grey’s Anatomy.

This weekend I am picking up my bridesmaid dress. It needs to be altered to fall above the knee and needs to be taken in around the chest (yes, I know, of all the places to need a dress taken in, it should NEVER be there). I don’t really want to try it on. My fear is that I will step into it, hate the way it looks on me and then dread the day of the wedding. So my plan was to alter it based on my measurements and slip into that puppy day of, and never look in the mirror. Let me hold onto my illusions. Meanwhile, the stupid seamstress will probably want me in the dress to pin it. I will just squeeze my eyes shut. This is not my day. It is my sisters. Whether I love or despise the dress (which I won’t know until it is on me), is irrelevant, because NO person in the wedding party can go up to the bride and groom and say “ya, so about this dress? It’s not workin for me…so I am just gonna pull something from my trustee closet”.

Weddings are a LOT of work. Dress & decoration shopping, making the party favours & invitations, the money box, planning the shower/bachelorette, picking the menu, planning transportation & accommodation, making a speech… and that’s just ME! Imagine being a bride? I have decided that any wedding I have will be a backyard BBQ. I just don’t want all the hustle and bustle. And the EXPENSES! It makes me sweat just trying to total up all the costs. Flowers, DJ, food, open bar, attire, venue, gifts, accommodation…it is like a thermometer with ‘Bankruptcy’ being the big ball at the top. God I hope I never have a daughter. And if I do, I hope she is post modern and doesn’t believe in the concept of marriage. I will bleed it into her at an early age. “1 in 3 marriages in today’s society end in divorce, hunny. It is just a money making scheme institutionalized by the government to feed the economy..”

So May 24 is here soon. That means a long weekend saturated with sun, beer and entertainment. You can bet that I will be at the cottage soaking up the rays. Maybe do some fishing , hiking, obviously some spring cleaning, but I will NOT be swimming. Since it is only May, the water will be cold and this body Is NOT bathing suit ready. I think that the surface of the pontoon boat is as close as I’ll be getting to the water. Anyway, enjoy your long weekend and be safe!

Kicked down- Back Up for Now......

I got a new job.

I don't want to risk a description though and 'out' my job. It is sort of like being pregnant. You don't tell anyone until you have been there for at least 3 months. I am nervous. Nothing like being laid off and losing a job to shake your confidence in your abilities. I may have gotten this job too soon. I don't necessarily feel ready to put on a happy face and dive back in. My brain needs a rest and I guess a couple weeks just doesn't cut it. To be honest, I thought my interview skills were a little rusty. I had a couple awkward silences, but apparently they went unnoticed.

I may be able to get my car after all. As for all that self betterment I said I was going to do, nothing like a little bit of borderline depression to squash those ambitions. I have spent most of my time being unemployed inhaling empty calories and lying in bed, catching up on my reading.

So I have been attempting to come up with ideas for my sisters bachelorette/shower. So far I have margarita mix and a penis cake tin. I was going to go all out and go strippers, but I have been informed that women don't always like staring at other naked women. So....transvestite showgirls? Here is my long labour of love- my invitation graphic. I had to cut out each stripper individually...hat and cactus too. Took friggen forever.

My sister and her future husband are in Mexico right now....pre- honeymoon. A trip won from work for outstanding...something or other. So what does that mean for me? Puppysitting....ok, well not me, but Stuart. Right now he is sitting in their house, eating their food, using their vehicles and showers and god knows what else, all under the premise of 'dogsitting'. While I am sitting at home, mentally preparing myself for my first day of work tomorrow. Anyway, since being unemployed I don't have many amusing anecdotes to drop into my blog....aside from my last job deducting my office chair from my vacation pay for wear and tear. Yes, I know....ask me about it, amusing story(thus my facebook name- 'kicked when I am down' for the past two weeks).

So until I have something new to add about my life, I will keep this one short and sweet. Until next time, loyal blog readers...

Ask a Busy Person- But Don't Ask ME!

Happy Easter! What does Easter mean to the average new age family? Mainly gorging on ham, pork and turkey, getting chocolaty and sugary treats, and trying to convince your toddlers that, yes, a bunny can hop from house to house carrying a Sac full of eggs, even without a poseable thumb.

I got to experience a big family over Easter. My own family is so small and somewhat fragmented. Stuarts family is literally enormous. They get together for birthdays, anniversaries, baptisms, weddings- you name it and they will all come together. Easter dinner was made up of 18 grandparents, aunts, uncles, grandchildren and great grandchildren. I won't say it wasn't fun, but when you grow up with a single Aunt and Uncle and a single cousin, the family events are hardly chaotic. Not to mention it is entirely up to Jordana and I to carry on the family name. At nearly 25, I am the youngest existing member of the Matthews family, or the Humphreys line (Mom's) for that matter. It is amazing how much more magical holidays become when you have little kids to lie to. With Santa, the Easter Bunny, the tooth fairy, and leprechauns only whispers in my memory, I can't be blamed if I feel some jealousy towards the young mothers that make up some of my friends. I am not talking 16 & Pregnant here, but early to mid 20's.

So the absolute worst case scenario has come to fruition. Stu and I are both unemployed, with a shitbox for a car, rent looming in the near future, unpaid phone and cable bills and no prospects to speak of. Ok maybe it isn't all that bleak, we have both had interviews recently, but I am not optimistic about the job market at the moment. I just don't want to be added to the pool of well education twenty somethings being forced to work in retail stores and liquor stores and grocery stores. I will be the first to spout my opinion about education inflation and how jobs that didn't used to require a university education, now ask for it, AND THEN SOME.

But I am not willing to go back to school. I am done. Worn out. bled dry of brain power. Maybe not that much. I found university stupid-simple. Overrated. But I simply won't front the cash for another useless, pointless 2 year diploma or certificate. I already have enough debt to speak for. And what did it buy me? Unemployment, with credentials to buy me a sweet secretarial position. The LIQUOR STORE would offer better benefits. I know guys with excellent degrees that are being wasted. Why? BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS ONE! University degrees are a dime a dozen. Why hire someone with a U. Degree when you can hire a person with an MBA or a Doctorate. They are in the same boat. My sister, who works in a big corporation says they are hiring MBA's for $30,000 per year salaried positions. BECAUSE THEY CAN! These guys have my sympathy. Instead of my thirty thousand of debt, they have sixty and seventy thousand dollars hanging over their heads.

What is the solution? Sure, they can make entrance into Universities and Colleges more difficult (leaving the poor kids with mid seventy grades to work in the department stores and Mac Milks). But that wouldn't be all that fair either. University just shouldn't be made the logical path for EVERYONE after High School. There is a real demand for Trade workers in the economy. Learn a trade and you an make some sweet cash. Right now though, education isn't about the smartest and brightest students getting the highest level of education. It is really about how wealthy you are. If you can afford that MBA then you are ahead of the game. Sure we the government spouts equality and equal opportunity, but this is still a world where the Rich get Richer and the poor get poorer and the middle class are still treading water. So Richie Rich gets the education, even though he is a puddle, and ends up making tons of cash. Is he the best for the job? Absolutely not. But since when was the world fair? The best guy for the job almost never gets it.

So as it stands, I will keep putting out my resume for positions I am under qualified for and Stu will keep doing the same. As my dream of a new car fades, I will use this new free time for self betterment! BAH! Ok, I will tell myself I will work out more, paint and maybe send more letters, but I have learned that the less you have to do, the less you accomplish. They say if you want something done, ask a busy person. SO....don't ask me :)

March Sadness, not Madness

March has been a sad month.

March in and of itself is a sad month because it is inherently cold and rainy. But it gives hope of Spring. I am holding on to that hope with every fibre of my being. I can't allow myself to be sad or it will swallow me. The dark dreary mornings and the sound of rain on my skylights at work will start to wear me down.

One of my dear friends lost her baby this month. The details are hers, but I feel an overwhelming sense of loss along with her. I can't help but imagine myself in her shoes and I know that it is a scar that will never heal and I just hope that my friendship (and some flowers and ice cream) will be enough solace.

Finances are thin. I am stressed about that. I live in overdraft at the end of every month and savings are scarce. I can't justify buying myself clothes or makeup or anything else that makes me happy and that is probably adding to the overall effect of this month.

I did indulge in one small thing though. I have always been a collector of small pretty things and I bought some miniature velvety horses from Bella Sara. A stupid expense, but it gives me something to be excited about. I check the mail every day when I get home from work to see if they have come. People collect all sorts of odds and ends. That is how I rationalize being 25 years old and buying toys off the intertron.

My Grandmother might be sick. She is getting up there in age...closer to 90 than to 80. She is really looking forward to my sisters wedding this summer but we have to face the reality that she may not live to see it. She is showing signs of kidney failure and pneumonia. She is my heart.

It is hard to even think of her passing, but I guess that is part of growing up. You never think, as a child, that when you grow up and get married that your grandparents won't be there. But I am lucky to even have grandparents NOW.

I was recently fitted for my bridesmaid dress. You can't imagine my distress over knowing I have a deadline to meet for weight loss and appearance...especially on a budget. Who can afford nails, toes, hair, tan and gym fees.....I like being maid of honour but you certainly need deep pockets. The dress itself will be $260.00 WITHOUT alterations- which will absolutely be necessary because even as I am right now- I am between sizes.

My partner is still unemployed and that is wearing on my living situation. It's the 5th month. It is hard to be supportive and uplifting when you really feel resentful. I want to push, but not too hard. I want to help, but I don't want to coddle. I want to plan for the future, but I can't see past the present. Words of encouragement get thinner the more you use them.

Cheers to St. Patty's day.

I shared a pitcher of green beer and had a nice walk in the 18 degree weather. It was a nice pause in an otherwise hectic schedule.

Ok loyal blog readers. I am downer and I know it. Let's hope that March showers bring May flowers early.